A Short Guide to a Happy Life - Book Notes

On my GoodReads list, I have A Short Guide to a Happy Life by Anna Quindlen as a book I wanted to read. This week I read it. It is, indeed, a short book - only 50 pages with a good percentage of them full-page black-and-white photos. 

Despite its short length, there was a lot of good information in it. Some highlights include:

- No man ever said on his deathbed I wish I had spent more time at the office.

- John Lennon said,, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

- You are the only person alive who has sole custody of your life...your soul.

- I am a good mother to three good children. I have tried never to let my profession stand in the way of being a good parent. I no longer consider myself the center of the universe. I show up. I listen. I try to laugh.

- Turn off your cell phone. Turn off your regular phone, for that matter. Keep still. Be present.

- Get a life in which you are not alone. Find people you love, and who love you.

- Get a life in which you are generous. 

- Life is glorious, and that you have no business taking it for granted. 

- All of us want to do well. But if we do not do good, too, then doing well will never be enough.

- It is easy to waste our lives: our days, our hours, our minutes. 

- It is so easy to exist instead of live. 

- It's ironic that we forget so often how wonderful life really is. We have more time than ever before to remember it. The men and women of generations past had to work long, long hours to support lots and lots of children in tiny, tiny houses. The women worked in factories and sweatshops and then at home, too, with two bosses, the one who paid them, and the one they were married to, who didn't.

- Those of us who are second and third and fourth generation (immigrants) are surrounded by nice cars, family rooms, patios, pools - the things our grandparents thought only rich people had. Yet somehow, instead of rejoicing, we've found the glass half empty. Our jobs take too much out of us and don't pay enough....Let's be honest. We have an embarrassment of riches. Life is good.

- I learned to love the journey, not the destination. I learned that this is not a dress rehearsal, and that today is the only guarantee you get. 

- Think of life as a terminal illness, because, if you do, you will live it with joy and passion, as it ought to be lived. 

- School never ends. The classroom is everywhere. The exam comes at the very end. 

Outdoor Mom's Journal - March 2019

During our outdoor time this month we went...outside to see the beauty of the huge snowfall on March 2nd. I always enjoy seeing how snow sparkles.

There sometimes are bird prints in the snow.

The trees look almost magical with their frost-covered branches against the blue sky.

The frost on the branches almost looked sharp.

The view from the street of our farm looked so remote and like something I'd see up north. It's been a joy to watch how the trees have grown so much since we've lived here. 

The sun was shining so brightly and made the ice on the branches sparkle.

The snow was so high that it almost reached the top of the woven-wire fence. 

The pathway from the barn back to the house was very narrow. The snow is heavy and high, so it is difficult to shovel wide paths. Thankfully, the days are getting warmer and the sun is moving closer to us so the snow will be gone by the end of the month. 

There was a bunch of crows that have been hanging around at the farm. They enjoy sitting on top of the pine trees next to the driveway. They get a great view of the pasture and farm. 

The most inspiring thing we experienced was...spending time outside on March 2nd trudging through the east pasture. The snow was very deep, so it was quite the workout lifting each leg high and putting it down into the snow.

Yet, the reward was feeling like I was in the remote Northwoods - all alone except for the horses.

While out in the pasture, there would be a periodic gentle wind that would nudge the snow from the trees - creating a "snow shower." 

Our outdoor time made us ask (or wonder about)...how the horses are able to handle such extremes in temperature.

  

This year, the temperature plunged to below -50 degrees windchill. During the summer, temperatures and "feel like" weather will be well into the 100+ degrees.

I think the Spring and Fall are the favorite times for the horses. They gallop and spend more time outdoors (rather than choosing to spend it in the barn), and finding food is much easier to do.

In the garden, we are planning/planting/harvesting...nothing at this point. By March 31st, all the snow has melted and we are looking at some serious flooding - especially in our west pasture.

The ground has not thawed yet and between the snow and rain, the pond is increasing in size. The horses can't reach this pasture since their walkway/path is under a good couple feet of water (at least).

It is hard to do much of anything outside since we can't dig yet. We have to let things dry out like they are on higher ground here.

Thankfully, around the house things are relatively dry. They are just brown and dull in color compared to the start of the month with the brilliant white snow and beautiful blue sky.

I added nature journal pages about...daily observations that I see from the house as I look out, when I'm outside, and/or when I'm driving. I'm continuing to keep track of the birds I see and noticing how they are starting to change as some early birds are making their way back north.

I am dreaming about…days when I can see the lawn furniture. Underneath the snow, there are two outdoor chairs and couch. I've never seen the snow this high before.

Even the picnic table is piled high with snow.

A photo I would like to share...when I was outside on March 2nd taking photos of the snowfall, an eagle flew from the east pasture, through the backyard, and right overhead. It was one of the most amazing things I've ever seen!

Things that Made Me Happy this Month

On Swap-Bot, I signed up for a swap in which I share with three partners something that made me happy this past month. Below are some things that stand out for me that happened from January 1st-31st:

Water: After not having water for four days due to a frozen pipe and then the pump burning out trying to push water from the well to the house, it was exciting to see water coming out of the faucets again.

Below is a truck from the well company that replaced the pipes that were corroding and the pump. An electrical company, thankfully, was able to come out at the same time and do all the electrical work to make the pump work.

Window Stars: I've been making a couple of new window stars. The stars below have components from two different window star patterns. The white part has 16 points (8 points and then another 8 points attached to them to make the star larger) and the pink and purple points have 8 points. It's a lot of folding.

What makes me happy is that the completed stars look bright and detailed; and I enjoy seeing the sun illuminate the pattern of the points and stars as a whole.

Receiving a pPckage from Japan: My friend, Yoshiko, sent a wonderful Christmas present that we've been enjoying. In addition to the lovely purse, she sent a variety of food items to try. There were soups, candies, pastries, and other items that we don't get in the United States.

The wrapping paper was so cute. The designs for cards and wrapping paper from Japan are always so delightful to see.

Service Projects: I coordinated service projects for the local Lions Club that I've belonged to since July. Sophia helped me with it. She put the flowers into vases and the new members and sponsors could take a little bouquet home with them.

We made four fleece-tied blankets that will be given to two local Fire & Rescue departments for people who experience a house fire; put bookplates in ten books that were donated to two local elementary schools; collected food for the food shelf; and glasses for the Lions' vision program.

Tour of Split Rock Studios: Sophia, Olivia, and I went to Split Rock Studios and saw the variety of things they make for museums, national parks, state parks, and visitor centers. One of the machines has a computer that is hooked up to saws that can cut foam (high- and low-density). Low-density foam would be used for things like sculptures - like the gorilla (below). High-density foam or wood would be used for things like topographical maps.

We also saw how trees are made for exhibits. There are these molds (see below) that were made by taking resin and pressing them into real trees. The molds are labeled on the back with the type of tree it is for authenticity purposes. When a tree needs to be made, the form is created and then the appropriate mold is pressed onto it in random ways to make it look like it is a real tree.

The leaves are made by spray-painting and then hand-painting the leaves and braches. It's a lot of work, but results in a realistic-looking product.

College Visits: We are starting to go on college visits. The first one was to Century College (a community college) to learn more about taking some general courses that could be taken before transferring to a four-year college. It was informative. We had hoped, though, to get a campus tour and see the classes in action. However, it was a few days before the semester began so the campus was rather empty.

Next, we went to Bethel University where we felt like honored guests. They went all out creating a memorable day with appointments, a delicious lunch, and campus tour. We heard about the opportunities for pre-music therapy (a combination of psychology, music, and pre-med courses that prepare one for a graduate degree in music therapy).

Our third visit was to Northwestern University - not far from Bethel. We attended a Hoops Hysteria event which included a campus tour, college/major fair where we learned a lot about the Interdisciplinary Major (which would be a great fit for Sophia), watched a basketball game, and enjoyed a tasty meal.

The fourth visit was to Augsburg College on their Music Day. We sat in on a group piano lesson course; visited with faculty and students in the music program; went to chapel; had lunch; and talked with the head of the music therapy major/department.

Each of the colleges/universities has its positives and negatives. It will be a difficult choice when that time comes next year to make a decision about which ones to apply to and attend.

Whole30: I'm doing the Whole30 a second time. The first time was in October and I lost 8 pounds. The second time I started on January 8th. As of today, I lost an additional 7 pounds. The loss of 15 pounds definitely makes me happy!!

It's also been nice eating food that is healthy and free from sugar, dairy, grains, corn, and beans.

Wild Turkeys: In one of the fields along the main road leading from home to town someone has been putting grain down for the wild turkeys. Many times when I pass the field, there are anywhere from 25 to probably close to 100 turkeys eating. It always makes me happy to see so many of them gathered together...and the thoughtfulness of someone who wants to make sure they can find enough to eat.

Celebrating Winter: During the last week in January, there were a couple of winter events we attended. First, there was a pancake breakfast that the Lions held. We enjoyed having a hearty breakfast and seeing a lot of people from the community who we had good conversations with before volunteering to do dishes for 1 1/2 hours.

Afterwards, we went to White Bear Center for the Arts for the open house. We spent some time playing with clay on the pottery wheels, saw artists working, enjoyed seeing the artwork displayed in the galleries and on the walls, and then went outside to see the Samoyeds leading sleds...or, in the case below, sitting on a sled.

Olivia went on a short sled ride. It reminded her of when we went dogsledding at Wintergreen in Ely and with Positive Energy Outdoors. Both were very different dogsledding experiences; and equally as memorable.

Warm Fires: We've enjoyed fires in the woodstove almost every night during January. This one was an outdoor fire at the art center during the open house.

Celebrating the Girls' Birthdays: Sophia had an extended birthday celebration that concluded with a massage on January 2nd. She turned 17 years old.

Olivia also had a multi-day birthday celebration that was a lot of fun. She turned 15 years old.

How their childhood and teen years have flown by. I always heard people say that children grow up in a blink of an eye. Didn't really believe it because I was always on the "child" end of that statement. As a parent, it is a phrase that rings very true.

I am so incredibly grateful to have been able to spend so much time with the girls as they grew up. Homeschooling has given us such a wide variety of good memories to look back upon. For that, I am extraordinarily happy.

Countdown to Christmas - Days 11-15

Printed a Family Reflection to do sometime this month. There are some good points to reflect upon - like: life lessons, transformations, travels, unexpected blessings, parenting evolution, and tender remembrances.

I'm continuing to use the December calendar of ideas from Mothering Arts.

For the 11th-15th of December we did the following Christmas-themed activities:

11 – Monday

Made a Cinnamon-roll Christmas tree for breakfast.

Baked Christmas cookies so the girls could take some to the homeschool co-op. We made:

- Gingerbread cookies

- Thumbprint cookies. (My mom used to make these every Christmas and fill the centers with red and green frosting.)

- Seven-layer bars with Andes mints instead of butterscotch chips.

Olivia filling the thumbprint cookies with frosting.

Helped set up the Lions blood drive at the Scandia Community Center for a half hour, took the girls to the homeschool co-op, and did Pilates.

12 – Tuesday

The girls had their final day of the homeschool co-op before the winter break. Olivia had to give to give a speech in her Speech class and they are required to dress up when they are presenting. She wore a dress.

I had my Pilates lesson while the girls were at the homeschool co-op.

Mailed Yoshiko’s gift (birthday and Christmas) and sent her a card that popped up. 

Each side had a different image which was neat. I hope she likes the card and gifts.

13 – Wednesday

We didn't do anything special related to Christmas or any of the holidays today. Seems like the day went by too quickly.

14 – Thursday

We went to the Lions Club's Christmas dinner. Sophia played the harp during the cocktail hour and beginning of dinner. After that, she joined us for dinner: salad, prime rib, baked potato, vegetable medley, roll, and peppermint ice cream for dessert.

It was a nice evening with the induction of three members (I put together the membership packets since I'm the Membership Chair of our club) and a program put on by about a dozen of the members.

15 – Friday

Olivia had her final speech therapy session before the winter break. Paige took her Christmas shopping and out to eat at Taco Johns in the afternoon.

Countdown to Christmas - Days 1-5

For over ten years, I've done a countdown to Christmas for Sophia and Olivia. I started with brown-construction-paper gingerbread men in a chain. Each one had a date and label on it with things we would do that day.

Eventually, I made an advent calendar with little embroidered envelopes made from wool felt and embroidery floss.

It hung by the wood stove for the first couple of years. One year, I moved it to the banister in the front hall.

Cooper, who was still a young dog at the time, ate some of the envelopes when we were gone. I haven't replaced them so we don't use the calendar anymore. (I need to repair that this year so we can use it again.)

This year, I have the days planned out - special things that we will do each day. Some days have more "exciting" things than others. The point is that we are doing something a bit out of the ordinary to enjoy time together as a family and/or do new things that are meaningful to us.

My overall goals for myself on each day during December/Advent:

-          Start a gratitude journal. I am using a special book for this and am using the following links that have gratitude images and prompts:

http://homegrownhospitality.typepad.com/files/itstime.pdf

http://homegrownhospitality.typepad.com/files/attitudeofgratitude.pdf

http://homegrownhospitality.typepad.com/files/habitofhappy1.pdf

http://www.allisonkimball.com/files/akimball_gratitude-1.pdf

http://www.allisonkimball.com/files/akimball_gratitude2_lists.pdf

http://www.allisonkimball.com/files/akimball_gratitude_piegraphs2.pdf

I printed and cut each one, and glued it into the gratitude journal. Using Prismacolor markers and colored pencils, I color them and write on them. 

Around them, I am using a kindness calendar that Mothering Arts offered during December. I write about the things I did each day.

-          Clean the house and declutter for 15 minutes. (I'm doing this more in blocks of time rather than each day.)

-          Gather one bag of items that can be donated to the second-hand store. Do this every day until Christmas so we donate 25+ bags of items that we no longer need, but may be useful for another person or family. The money from the sale of the items will help support programs that help others in the community. (Again, this is being done in blocks of time so some days I'm getting more items than other days.)

-          Read one Christmas story each day from now until the 25^th. (I haven't started on this one yet since we are still going through the Christmas bins. Will catch up this weekend with reading.)

- Use the Family Reflections during the month and write down what each person says. (We haven't done this yet, but I would like to do this each year from this point forward and see how our answers change.)

December 1, 2017

I walked Scooby by Demontreville Lake while Sophia had her harp lesson. He was so happy after his walk.

We even found a tennis ball on the walk which we brought back with us in the car. He's watching for Sophia to come out of her lesson in the photo below.

I donated three bags of items to Goodwill. Felt good to get them out of the house.

Saturday, December 2, 2017

Sophia hosted a blood drive with the American Red Cross as well as oversaw the assembly of 30 comfort bags for children who have cancer who are undergoing chemotherapy.

During the last couple of weeks of November she had purchased lots of items to fill the comfort bags thanks to donations and grants from individuals and businesses.

She instructed people about what to include in the comfort bags - giving each person the opportunity to fill a bag for a particular gender and age group.

Olivia was in charge of giving rewards to each of the blood donors as well as encouraging them to eat a snack. Each donor received a thank you card, heart-shaped window star, one of Sophia's CDs, and a gift certificate to either Kwik Trip, the movie theater, or Pizza Hut.

Family members, friends, and people who were attending the holiday fair in the same building helped create the bags. Below, my sister filled a bag.

This is an example of what was included in the comfort bags:

We tied eight fleece blankets. There are six more that we still need to complete at home.

We were so grateful to have the help of girls who knew how to tie the blankets and enjoyed doing making them.

The bags were created throughout the day by people of all ages.

By the end of the day, all 30 bags had been assembled.

There were 12 blood donors - of which 25% were teens. This was the first time that a blood drive had been held at this location, so the American Red Cross was pleased with the number of new donors as well as teen donors.

We were pretty exhausted by the end of the day since we left the house around 7:00 a.m. and didn't get home until close to 5:00 p.m. Ended up having pizza for dinner.

That night there was a super bright moon. It literally lit up the entire backyard.

Sunday, December 3, 2017

We picked out a tree today from Prairie Restorations. Sophia chose it and ended up hauling it over to the ruler on the post that determined how much it cost.

The girls helped tie the three to the top of the roof of the Jeep.

That afternoon, we had another fire in the fire pit in the backyard. We're trying to burn brush that has been sitting there for quite a while. If we didn't burn it now, birds and wildlife (rabbits and skunks) would nest there over the winter and into the spring. We would have a huge brush pile that would have been there another year since we wouldn't want to burn it when they were nesting in it.

It's nice to have it cleared out now (for the most part). We'd like to create a smaller fire pit next spring and sod around the area that we burned.

Also on Sunday, I cleaned my home office and put things away that were on the floor. Spent 2 hours and 45 minutes doing this. Got rid of 7 bags of garbage, recycling, or donations.

Monday, December 4, 2017

The intention today was to celebrate Chalica - a Unitarian Universalist holiday. It starts on the first Monday of December and goes for seven days. Each day represents one of the seven principles of Unitarian Universalism.

The first one basically is that each person is important. So, there were two things that I wanted to do: have a meal where everyone’s favorite food is represented and watch Meet the Robinsons.

We ended up doing the meal, but didn’t watch the movie since I had a Lions Club foundation board meeting that night.

The meal included: Papa Murphy pizza (Olivia's choice)...

 bratwurst (Paige's choice)...

fresh fruit (my choice)....

and sparkling grape juice (Sophia's choice).

Everyone was happy because there was something that each person liked that was included in the meal.

While I was at the board meeting, the girls decorated the Christmas tree.

They each picked ornaments that they wanted on the tree.

Many of the ornaments are ones we bought in China when they were adopted in 2001 and 2003.

Aspen and Danny oversaw the decorating of the tree.

When we turned the light out, I monkeyed around with the camera. Had fun with creating "light pictures."

 

The girls wanted to make sure I got a "normal" picture of the tree...which I did:

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

This was an unusual and memorable day. Sophia was able to observe three bunion surgeries with her podiatrist/surgeon. He gave that opportunity since she is doing a 4-H project/presentation on the surgical removal of bunions.

After driving on very icy and slippery roads thanks to an overnight rain, freeze, and snow, we arrived at the hospital by 7:45 a.m. One of the surgical nurses showed Sophia where to change into scrubs. 

She was able to observe up close the procedures which were fascinating for her. She learned a significant amount in the three hours she spent in the operating room watching the surgeries. 

There she is taking photos (one of over 400 photos from the morning!) with Dr. Benjamin Clair doing a bunion surgery. Techically, it was a "Lapidus arthrodesis (also known as a first tarsometatarsal or first TMT arthrodesis) hallux valgus correction." 

After the surgeries, Sophia went to the homeschool co-op to take her piano lesson and PSEO course (American Government). It was full day.

While she and Olivia were at the co-op, I dropped off five bags of donations at Family Pathways. I'm up to 8 bags of donations so far this month.

For the second day of Chalica, the focus was on doing something nice for someone else - or being kind in all you do.

So, I wrote two Christmas cards to the Charlie and Yovani through the prison ministry program I'm involved with that focuses on letter writing. I write letters regularly to these two men who are in prison in Missouri and California respectively. I've been writing to Charlie now for a few years and Yovani since earlier this year. 

It's been rewarding and enlightening for me to correspond with both me; and I've learned quite a bit about the prison system. I wish there were more things to help inmates improve their lives, gain marketable skills, and receive a solid education so that when they are released the recidivism rate would be lower.