Spiritual Practices A to Z: Meaning

Spiritual Practices: Meaning

Enhances: Understanding

Balances/Counters: Cynicism, Shallowness

The Basic Practice

Meaning is a term that sums up spiritual life. Many people define spirituality as the search for purpose and meaning. This practice involves seeking and making.  But this is also a specific practice that can be learned, developed, and applied. It involves both seeking and making.

Seek meaning by looking for the big picture around all of your experiences. Look for patterns in the world and in your behavior. Make meanings by attaching symbols, stories, analogies, and metaphors to events and things. Learn more about how you can understand things whether that means taking a course, attending a lecture, or listening to a CD.

Why This Practice May Be For You

The universe is a friendly place, and everything in it has meaning and purpose. Nothing happens by chance. If we think nothing deserves to be taken seriously, then it is easy to regard what happens to us as insignificant and pointless. After all, what matters if the universe is characterized by random occurrences? On a personal level, this translates to the feeling that there is no direction to our lives.

If what you are doing doesn't seem important, it's time to work with the practice of meaning.

Quotes

Meaning does not come to us in finished form, ready-made; it must be found, created, received, constructed. We grow our way toward it.
— Ann Bedford Ulanov quoted in Dear Heart, Come Home by Joyce Rupp

We must remind ourselves that, though our lives are small and our acts seem insignificant, we are generative elements of this universe, and we create meaning with each act that we perform or fail to perform.
— Kent Nerburn in Make Me an Instrument of Your Peace

Insights from myth, dreams, and intuitions, from glimpses of an invisible reality, and from perennial human wisdom provide us with hints and guesses about the meaning of life and what we are here for. Prayer, observance, discipline, thought and action are the means through which we grow and find meaning.
— Jean Shinoda Bolen in Close to the Bone

Books

Ethical Wills - Putting Your Values on Paper by Barry K. Baines.

This book explores the questions that many people have: Have I fulfilled my purpose? What will I be remembered for? What kind of legacy have I passed along to my family and others?

The author is the Medical Director at Ucare, Minnesota, and Associate Medical Director of Hospice of the Twin Cities. He is also the CEO of The Legacy Center, an organization dedicated to preserving stories, values, and meaning for individuals, communities, and organizations.

I checked this book out from the library and was impressed with the usefulness and practical ideas for passing along one's personal values, beliefs, and advice to future generations.

The author believes that clarifying and communicating the meaning of our lives is not only important to our loved ones — it is a gift we owe ourselves. In the process of reflecting upon the past, learning about ourselves, pondering what we're willing to stand up for, facing our mortality, and writing down personal and family stories; we deepen and enrich our lives.

There are lots of exercises to help with the writing process and many examples of ethical wills written by people of all ages.

Because of this book, I have started on an ethical will to my daughters and started to refine my health care directive.

Film

Limbo, directed by John Sayles, is recommended for this spiritual practice.

Physicist Albert Einstein was once asked, "What's the most important question you can ask in life?" He replied, "Is the universe a friendly place or not?" In writer and director John Sayles's latest film, the open-ended finale gives you a chance to decide for yourself the answer to that poignant query.

The drama is set in the small town of Port Henry, Alaska, where tourism is the only business now that the timber mill and the salmon cannery have shut down. The two main characters are Joe Gastineau (David Strathairn), a moody handyman who is drenched in guilt over his role in the death of two people in a disaster aboard his boat, and Donna De Angelo (Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio), a lounge singer who has dated a string of losers. He asks her and her troubled daughter Noelle (Vanessa Martinez) to join him on an outing on his boat. But some nasty business with his half-brother Bobby (Casey Siemaszko) strands the three of them on a deserted island in the wilds of Alaska.

This limbo they inhabit is a place of confinement, where they linger with the regrets of the life they've known and the very real possibility of death. They find a little shelter and forage for food in the woods and sea. But they each know that the chances of their being rescued are quite slim. This grim situation enables them to deal with the unfinished emotional business of their lives. Hobbled by fear, they inch their way toward the healing power of love, forgiveness, and mutual caring.

I checked out the movie from the library, but didn't have time to watch it. It seems like by the time that I have a block of time to watch a movie I am too tired to enjoy it. Perhaps some day I can circle back and watch this movie.

Music

Austrian composer Gustav Mahler wrote Das Lied von der Erde (The Song of the Earth) in 1908 - 1909 shortly after the death of his favorite daughter from scarlet fever and after he was diagnosed with a debilitating heart condition.

Consisting of six movements, the composition is based on Chinese poems about loneliness, youth, beauty, renewal, and death. This powerful yet supremely poignant music covers a wide range of emotions as the composer reaches for meaning in the face of death.

In the final section, "The Farewell," words added by Mahler reveal that he has found it: "The dear earth everywhere blossoms in spring and grows green again. Everywhere and eternally the distance shines bright and blue. Eternally."

This CD was available at the library. I listened to the beginning of it, but didn't listen to the whole thing. It's beautiful music, but I wasn't in the right place mentally to listen and enjoy it. These past few months have felt rushed and I haven't put the effort (like I should) into fully exploring this spiritual practice.

Art

George Segal's white plaster sculptures are composed of figures of human beings involved in mundane activities. "People have attitudes locked up in their bodies and you have to catch them," the artist wrote. This is his quest for meaning and our chance to make a spiritual reading of his art.

Look at Bus Riders in which Segal presents four figures caught in a moment of time. What does their body language reveal about their personalities and characters? And what does the sculpture as a whole say about our times?

As I look at the sculpture, I see four people so close to one another yet in their own worlds. They look like they each have their minds and attention focused on other things - either out the window of the bus or internally.

In some respects, I see isolation and loneliness in this grouping of four people. No one is engaged in conversation or actively wanting to connect or reach out to others. It's not much different than life nowadays with people so connected to their devices rather than one another.

Daily Cue, Reminder, Vow, Blessing

• Reading a new book is a cue for me to participate in the great adventure of finding meaning.

I read "The Priority List - A Teacher's Final Quest to Discover Life's Greatest Lessons" by David Menasche. This was an interesting book in concept. However, I was hoping to read more about the interactions with the teacher's students from the past and his impact on their lives.

• When I hear a soul-stirring lecture, I am reminded of my obligation to make meaning from my experiences.

This hasn't happened to me recently.

• When I leave a theater after seeing a movie, I vow to ponder its meanings slowly and seriously.

Haven't gone to see a movie recently either.

Practice of the Day

Today's headlines, viewed with the right consciousness, can be seen as a living alphabet through which humanity comes to know itself and God. A deeper meaning is revealed.
— Corrine McLaughlin and Gordon Davidson in Spiritual Politics

To Practice This Thought: Scan the headlines in today's newspaper. What do they tell you about yourself, your world, and God?

I'm not sure what paper to read to get a positive outlook and meaning on humanity. If anything, the papers are rather depressing and frightening at this point in time. There is so much negativity, hatred, terrorism, and fear in the world. Each year seems to get more frightening than the previous year.

Some of the headlines from yesterday's main section of the paper:
- Cohen sent to prison for 3 years
- Police call officer shortage a "crisis"
- As trade war drags, soybeans sit in bins
- 5 convicted in decade of trafficking
- U.S. diplomats who fell ill in Cuba had injured ears
- Scandal-tainted cardinals out
- Countries see little progress at climate talks
- Island nations, threatened by rising seas, push for action

The Minnesota news isn't much better:
- New ideas for cops on rape cases
- To catch a porch package thief
- In Duluth, U finalist confronts concerns
- Bad valve at refinery led to blast
- Met Council OKs barriers to protect metro  Transit bus drivers

What these headlines tell me about myself is that I live by values that are vastly different than the ones who are mentioned in these stories. As I read these titles, there isn't one that is positive. The world is changing to something I no longer recognize or, in some ways, feel comfortable being around.

How different life was like 30,40, 50 years ago. I can't even imagine how much different life was like 100 years ago. In the greater scheme of life and the world, that's not a long time. Yet in that short timeframe, human nature and the world has changed greatly.

Spiritual Exercises

Before you pick up a new book or magazine, or as you sit down to watch a video or listen to some music, pause and ask Spirit to open your heart, mind, and soul through the spiritual practice of meaning. Call in wisdom. Later, before leaving this learning experience, say a blessing for the author or the artist to convey your thanks for his or her contribution to your life.

SPECIAL PROJECT: Make your own Book of Meaning. In a blank notebook, copy quotes that speak to your understanding of yourself, the world, and God. Paste in photographs that touch your soul, adding captions about what the image says to you. Get in the habit of regularly writing in your book "spiritual readings" of your relationships, work, body, hobbies, and current events.

I have something like this - a book of quotes. It's a positive, uplifting book to read. I do not have photographs in it. In some ways, my nature journal - with writing, photos, and images from magazines is like that.

It would be good to get in a regular habit of writing and documenting my life. Perhaps in 2019.

Spiritual Literacy: Reading the Sacred in Everyday Life by Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat contains more than 650 short excerpts, collected from a wide variety of sources, that reveal a spiritual perspective on everyday life. Reading them will be particularly helpful training sessions for this special project in making meanings.

I checked this book out of the library. The book is organized by topic (e.g., creativity, hope, nature, animals) and there are excerpts from books and other resources. I particularly liked the chapters I noted as well as one on service.

Journal Exercises

• At one time or another, we all have to ask whether spiritual meaning is found in security or risk, certainty or doubt. In your journal, make a list of the places where you have looked for meaning. Make a second list of the places where you haven't looked. Write the reasons why you have looked where you have and not looked elsewhere.

Discussion Questions, Storytelling, Sharing

• Describe a recent situation where you consciously asked yourself, what is the meaning of this? What did you learn?

• What elements of contemporary culture serve as blocks or obstacles to your interest in the spiritual practice of meaning? How do you deal with them?

Household, Group, and Community Projects

• Create a mural of proverbs in your home. These brief sayings carry wisdom from the past and different cultures. Many also contain spiritual advice such as "Silence is golden." Check the library for collections of proverbs.

I checked out the book The Concise Oxford Dictionary of Proverbs by J.A. Simpson. It was interesting to see how many proverbs my parents used when I was growing up, and ones that I still use today.

These are some of the proverbs that I remember hearing or that I think are good advice:

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
A chain is no stronger than its weakest link.
A friend in need is a friend indeed.
A man is known by the company he keeps.
A penny saved is a penny earned.
A place for everything, and everything in its place.
A stitch in time saves nine.
A watched pot never boils.
A woman’s work is never done.
A word to the wise is enough.
After a storm comes a calm.
All that glitters is not gold.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All’s fair in love and war.
All’s well that ends well.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
An apple never falls far from the tree
Appearances are deceptive
April showers bring May flowers.
As you make your bed, so you must lie upon it.
Beauty is only skin deep.
Beggars can’t be choosers
Believe nothing of what you hear, and only half of what you see.
Better late than never.
Birds of a feather flock together.
Blood is thicker than water.
Business before pleasure.

If you notice - these are only ones that begin with the letters A and B. There are many more starting with the letters C-Y (there are none that start with Z).

• Make a household commitment to each learn at least one new thing every week. Consider these sources of meanings: lectures at libraries, conference centers, bookstores; encyclopedias and other reference books; television documentaries. Report on the most interesting things you are learning during one of your meals together.

We do learn something new each week - sometimes almost every day. At this stage of our life, with both Sophia and Olivia in high school, we are always reading something for one of the girls' classes. Talking with others invariably leads to learning new things as well. There's so many opportunities to learn something new each day.

• Sharing meanings within a group context is also a rewarding activity. Here are some "meaning" discussion starters: What ritual, holiday, or possession means the most to you? What a landscape or place has special meaning for you. Recall a meaningful moment from childhood, adolescence, young adulthood, middle age, elderhood. When have you found meaning in suffering? Have you ever felt deprived of meaning?

All these answers to these questions would be far too long for a post. These are better written about in my journal.

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The ideas in this post are from Spirituality and Practice.

Spiritual Practices A to Z: Listening

Continuing on with the Spiritual Practices A to Z, I'm now at "L" which is Listening.

Spiritual Practice: Listening

Enhances: Discernment

Balances/Counters: Disregard for others

The Basic Practice

One spiritual practice is often associated with others. Listening involves attention, being present, and hospitality, and it is a component of devotion, nurturing, and wonder.

Listening enables us to tune in to others and our inner voices of intuition and conscience. It is how we know we are part of the natural, technological, and media worlds all around us.

Squirrel nibbling on a pinecone at the Grand Canyon.

However, it takes practice to be a good listener. Start by listening like a baby does upon encountering a sound for the first time. Then listen like a child, noticing music, rhythm, and the variety of noises. Next, tune in to the messages coming to you from all directions and multiple levels of experience.

Why This Practice May Be For You

There is no greater way to show our regard for our friends, family, and associates than to truly listen to them. A "listening heart," as this attitude is called, leads to deeper relationships and a greater sense of self. This kind of communication isn't limited to human interactions. Listen to an animal, the waves on the beach, or the noise of a city neighborhood, and you will come to a greater appreciation of your place in the universe.

Scooby watching and listening to me.

Conversely, an inability or unwillingness to listen is a symptom of self-centeredness. It signals that we are focused on ourselves, not interested in participating in what is going on around us. It can also indicate an obliviousness to our own best interests which may be trying to make themselves known through our inner voices.

Quotes

The greatest wisdom is listening
to the guidance of the heart.
— Kabir Helminski in The Knowing Heart

My parents listening to me when we were visiting my dad 

in the nursing home. 

For listening is the act of entering the skin of the other and wearing it for a time as if it were our own. Listening is the gateway to understanding.
— David Spangler in Parent as Mystic, Mystic as Parent

Books

I read the book Let Your Life Speak by Parker J. Palmer. In it, he talks about his pilgrimage toward selfhood and vocation. For him, the heart of the journey involves both listening and discernment. There was a poem that I found intriguing that opened the first chapter:

Some time when the river is ice ask me

mistakes I have made. Ask me whether

what I have done is my life. Others

have come in their slow way into

my thought, and some have tried to help

or to hurt: ask me what difference

their strongest love or hate has made.

I will listen to what you say.

You and I can turn and look

at the silent river and wait. We know

the current is there, hidden; and there

are comings and goings from miles away

that hold the stillness exactly before us.

What the river says, that is what I say.

Some of the key points I want to remember include:
- From the poem above: "Ask me whether what I have done is my life." These words remind me of moments when it is clear - if I have eyes to see - that the life I am living is not the same as the life that wants to live in me. In those moments I sometimes catch a glimpse of my true life, a life hidden life the river beneath the ice. And in the spirit of the poet, I wonder: What am I meant to do? Who am I meant to be?

Olivia trimming a bowl.

- Trying to live someone else's life, or to live by an abstract norm, will invariably fail - and may even do great damage.
- We listen for guidance everywhere except from within.
- A poem from May Sarton:

Now I become myself

It's taken time, many years and places.

I have been dissolved and shaken,

Worn other people's faces...

- I grew strong enough to discard the idea that vocation, or calling, comes from a voice external to ourselves, a voice of moral demand that asks us to become someone we are not yet - someone different, someone better, someone just beyond our reach.
- It comes from a voice "in here" calling me to be the person I was born to be, to fulfill the original selfhood given me at birth.
- I am gathering my observations in a letter. When my granddaughter reaches her late teens or early twenties, I will make sure that my letter finds its way to her, with a preface something like this: "Here is a sketch of who you were from your earliest days in the world. It is not a definitive picture - only you can draw that. But it was sketched by a person who loves you very much. Perhaps these notes will help you do sooner something your grandfather did only later: remember who you were when you first arrived and reclaim the gift of true self."

Sophia playing the harp.

- We are disabused of original giftedness in the first half of our lives. Then - if we are awake, aware, and able to admit our loss - we spend the second half trying to recover and reclaim the gift we once possessed.
- From the beginning, our lives lay down clues to selfhood and vocation, though the clues may be hard to decode.
- The deepest vocational question is not "What ought I to do with my life?" It is the more elemental and demanding "Who am I? What is my nature?"

The girls and me many years ago.

- Making pottery, for example, involves more than telling the clay what to become. The clay presses back on the potter's hands, telling her what it can and cannot do - and if she fails to listen, the outcome will be both frail and ungainly.

Olivia making a vase in pottery class.

- Self-care is never a selfish act - it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others.
- If we are unfaithful to true self, we will extract a price from others. We will make promises we cannot keep, build houses from flimsy stuff, conjure dreams that devolve into nightmares, and other people will suffer -- if we are unfaithful to true self.
- Rosa Parks decided, "I will no longer act on the outside in a way that contradicts the trust that I hold deeply on the inside. I will no longer act as if I were less than the whole person I know myself inwardly to be."
- If I try to be or do something noble that has nothing to do with who I am, I may look good to others and myself for a while. But the fact that I am exceeding my limits will eventually have consequences. I will distort myself, the other, and our relationship - and may end up doing more damage than if I had never set out to this particular 'good.' When I try to do something that is not in my nature or the nature of the relationship, way will close behind me.

Sophia giving a presentation about Egypt at a 4-H club I once led.

- Dorothy Day said, "Do not give to the poor expecting to get their gratitude so that you can feel good about yourself. If you do, your giving will be thin and short-lived, and that is not what the poor need; it will only impoverish them further. Give only if you have something you must give; give only if you are someone for whom giving is its own reward.
- We are created in and for community, to be there, in love, for one another. But community cuts both ways, when we reach the limits of our own capacity to love, community means trusting that someone else will be available to the person in need.
- Burnout: trying to give what I do not possess - the ultimate in giving too little. Burnout is a state of emptiness, but it does not result from giving all I have: it merely reveals the nothingness from which I was trying to give in the first place.
-  Each time a door closes, the rest of the world opens up. All we need to do is stop pounding on the door that just closed, turn around - which puts the door behind us - and welcome the largeness of life that now lies open to our souls. The door that closed kept up from entering a room, but what now lies before us is the rest of reality.

Olivia doing gymnastics.

She was able to start doing this because we had more time 

after I stopped being the leader of a 4-H club.

It opened up doors for Olivia to learn a new sport in 2017 (gymnastics) 

as well as get her firearms license in 2018 and 

begin doing Shooting Sports (trap shooting and .22 target practice).

- The anxiety that kept me pounding on closed doors, almost prevented me from seeing the secret hidden in plain sight: I was already standing on the ground of my new life, ready to take the next step on my journey, if only I would turn around and see the landscape that lay before me.
- Depression is the ultimate state of disconnection - it deprives one of the relatedness that is the lifeline of every living being.
- Depression is the ultimate state of disconnection, not just between people but between one's mind and one's feelings. To be reminded of that disconnection may only deepen one's despair.
Depression is the ultimate state of disconnection, not only between people, and between mind and heart, but between one's self-image and the public mask.
- I lead by word and deed simply because I am here doing what I do. If you are also here, doing what you do, then you also exercise leadership of some sort.

The girls with their leadership project they oversaw in 2017; and

that Sophia built upon in 2018.

The One Stop Donation Drop has been done on a large scale twice and 

smaller scale three times from November 2015-present.

- We have places of fear inside of us, but we have other places as well - places with names like trust and hope and faith. We can choose to lead from one of those places, to stand on ground that is not riddled with the fault lines of fear, to move toward others from a place of promise instead of anxiety. As stand in one of the those places, fear may remain close at hand and our spirits may still tremble. But now we stand on ground that will support us, ground from which we can lead others toward a more trustworthy, more hopeful, more faithful way of being in the world.
- My delight in the autumn colors is always tinged with melancholy, a sense of impending loss that is only heightened by the beauty all around.

Picture of a leaf in autumn that Olivia took.

- In retrospect, I can see in my own life what I could not see at the time - how the job I lost helped me find work I needed to do....how losses that felt irredeemable forced me to discern meanings I needed to know. On the surface, it seemed that life was lessening, but silently and lavishly the seeds of new life were always being sown.
- Winter...is the gift of utter clarity. In winter, one can walk into woods that had been opaque with summer growth only a few months earlier and see the trees clearly, singly and together, and see the ground they are rooted in.

A picture of a leaf in winter under ice.

- The gift of life, which seemed to be withdrawn in winter, has been given once again, and nature, rather than hoarding it, gives it all away.
- Daily I am astonished at how readily I believe that something I need is in short supply. If I hoard possessions, it is because I believe that there are not enough to go around. If I struggle with others over power, it is because I believe that power is limited. If I become jealous in relationships, it is because I believe that when you get too much love, I will be shortchanged.
- The irony, often tragic, is that by embracing the scarcity assumption, we create the very scarcities we fear. If I hoard material goods, others will have too little and I will never have enough. If I fight my way up the ladder of power, others will be defeated and I will never feel secure. If I get jealous of someone I love, I am likely to drive that person away.
- In the human world, abundance does not happen automatically. It is created when we have the sense to choose community, to come together to celebrate and share our common store.

Film

I watched the movie Contact that is directed by Robert Zemeckis.

The movie description is: "She's known it since she was a young girl, when she would magically connect with distant voices on her father's shortwave radio. She's known it since college, when she chose the search for intelligent extraterrestrial messages as her discipline. She's known it since she bargained for just hours a week of satellite time to sweep the heavens for evidence. And she knows it every time she stares at the countless stars dappling the infinite night sky... Something is out there."

Music

Paul Winter and his associates create music to combat what ecophilosopher Thomas Berry calls human autism — our inability to listen to any voices other than those of our own kind.

On Earth: Voices of a Planet and Wolf Eyes: A Retrospective, Winter on soprano sax is joined by Paul Halley on keyboards, David Darling and Eugene Friesen on cello, and other musicians in tributes to the old growth forests, rain forests, oceans, and other remaining natural habitats of the planet.

The oak tree in our northwest pasture.

However, the most important collaborators on these song poems are the recorded wildlife: spotted owl, elephant, Weddell seal, musician wren from the Amazon, Australian lyrebird, European blackbird, bottlenose dolphin, orca whale, and timber wolf.

I listened to "Sea Song" on Winter's website which was relaxing...very peaceful. I didn't hear any animal sounds, though, which was disappointing. Perhaps in some of the other pieces they are louder or a more significant part of the song.

Art

Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio's Calling of Saint Matthew depicts the spiritual practice of listening. Levi, the tax collector who will be named Matthew, is seated at a table with four assistants when Jesus appears in the room and summons him with a simple gesture of his hand.

Levi's face is illuminated with light from the doorway, but it is a different kind of attention that he responds to.

Calls and messages, some of them nonverbal, are always coming to us from all directions. The challenge is to recognize the important ones, which may only be possible when we have learned how to listen.

Daily Cue, Reminder, Vow, Blessing

• Putting on headphones is a cue for me to practice listening.

• Noticing how an animal pricks up its ears at the slightest sound, I am reminded to keep my ears open to the world around me.

Aspen listening.

• Whenever I tell a story to a friend and sense that s/he is not really attending to it, I vow to be a better listener. (I also will wrap up the story so as to relieve the person of having to listen to something they don't want to listen to for whatever reason.)

Practice of the Day

Spiritual teaching has always pointed to the fact that everything in creation has a sound, its own unique vibration. As conscious listeners we may perceive more and more of what the universe is saying to us by the simple act of listening. We can learn to appreciate each and every sound.
— Katherine Le Mee in Chant

To Practice This Thought: Focus on the variety of sounds in your environment right now. How many tones can you distinguish?

As I do this on the morning of August 20th, all I can hear are three fans blowing cool air. I need to turn them off to hear anything else.

Now what do I hear?
- Lucy (the cat) purring
- Birds singing in the distance
- Birds chirping in the pine tree
- Scooby (the dog) rustling a bit on the bed
- Quietness and peacefulness
- Literally quietness...an absence of sound
- Scooby snoring
- Red squirrels chattering at one another in the backyard
- At 7:57 a.m., I am so grateful for how calm and relaxing our home is. I know shortly there will be workers here to start building the garage. Until then, I can listen to the birds, squirrels, and pets.

Aspen playing in the backyard while Scooby explores different smells.

Journal Exercises

• In Who Cares? Simple Ways You Can Reach Out, Marcy Heidish, who has served as a hospital chaplain, describes a useful tool from her training — the "listener's log." She wrote verbatim records of her visits with patients in order to learn how much she actually heard and how helpful her responses were.

Sophia and Dr. Clair after Sophia's surgery.

Log some of your conversations in your journal. Then ask yourself these questions, suggested by Heidish:
- Did you create a receptive atmosphere?
- Did you take over or grow distant?
- When were the moments of breakthrough, connection, and insight?

I didn't do this, but it intrigues me as something to do in the future. These are good questions to keep in mind whenever a person is talking with someone else.

• Make lists to assess how you listen:

- Who I Always Listen To.
- Who I Rarely Listen To.
- Who Listens To Me.
- Who I Want to Listen To Me.

Again, these are interesting thoughts to reflect upon. I would add one more "Who Rarely Listens To Me." This may tie into the last one "Who I Want to Listen To Me."

Discussion Questions, Storytelling, Sharing

• Describe a favorite sound. What do you associate with it?

One of my favorite sounds is when I come back home and the dogs all start howling in unison to welcome me home. I read that animals howl to guide the ones who have been away hunting back to their home. 

Then, once they see me, they all make different sounds of happiness and excitement. It truly makes me feel like they consider me one of their pack (perhaps the pack leader since they don't do this for anyone else in the family...only if others are with me). 

No other dogs have done this, so it's been so neat to hear this. I really should record them howling because I know that these four together feed off of one another and all howl in unison.

Cooper watching outside for squirrels.

• Share an example of a time when you listened to your body. This could be feedback about an illness, an intuitive hit, or another type of sensation. Did you heed the message?

Most recently, I helped coordinate a local community activity that involved planting perennials and bushes at the intersections of a local highway and county road that runs through town. The city worked with the Department of Transportation to develop a plan and secure the plants I was asked to help secure volunteers.

The volunteers who helped plant two gardens in our community.

We planted two large gardens for three hours in humid weather with temperatures starting in the mid-70s and by 12:30 reaching the low 80s. 

One view of the garden on the southeast corner of the intersection.

It  was hard work, but very rewarding.  

Another view of the garden on the southeast corner of the intersection.

When I came home, I could barely move (thanks to degenerative disk disease). I had to lay down for the balance of the day, take a hot bath to loosen my muscles, and take Ibuprofen  to reduce inflammation. I knew that if I didn't listen to what my body was telling me, that I would be unable to do much - if anything - for the rest of the Labor Day weekend. 

Because I listened to my body, I feel better today (Sunday), and am only slightly sore still. I'm happy that I took it easy for the rest of the afternoon and evening, so that I can do other things this weekend.

• Read a story aloud. Notice how your experience of the tale is affected by hearing it.

I have done this in the past when I've read to the girls, and it does make a difference to hear the story aloud. If the story is good and well-written, I tend to take my time, pause more, and try to emphasize what the author is trying to convey. 

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These ideas are from the Spirituality and Practice website.

Spiritual Practices A to Z: Kindness

The next spiritual practice in the alphabetical series is Kindness. There are many great insights and ideas from Spirituality and Practice that are below. 

Spiritual Practices: Kindness

Enhances: Generosity
Balances/Counters: Selfishness

The Basic Practice

Kindness is the first of the three great treasures advocated by Lao Tzu. The Buddha taught that generosity is a primary quality of an awakened mind. Jewish and Christian ethics are built upon deeds of kindness, as are the daily interactions of people of primal traditions.

The spiritual practice of kindness encompasses a range of small acts and habits that we know as old-fashioned good manners — saying "please" and "thank you," lending a helping hand, cheering someone up with a smile, or waiting your turn. It applies not just to your relationships with other people. Etiquette in the spiritual life extends to animals, plants, things, and the Earth.

Spreading kindness at the library.

(Taken on June 14, 2014.)

This practice also means being generous with your presence, time, and  money. Give freely without expecting anything in return. Kindness is never a quid pro quo endeavor.

Why This Practice May Be For You

Few people would describe themselves as unkind, cruel, or nasty, yet we often miss the mark on this spiritual practice. Simply remember the many times you have been hurt by someone not doing something: the call that didn't come when you were feeling low, the thank you note that never appeared, the missed appointment. Now, consider how often you have neglected to act in similar circumstances. Kindness is very susceptible to the sin of omission.

Still, acknowledging that we have missed another's kindness can make us want to be kind more consistently ourselves. This is one of those situations when a negative experience has a positive outcome.

Sophia and Olivia packing up pillows to 

donate to a homeless shelter.

(January 27, 2011.)

Of course, sometimes we are simply too self-absorbed to notice that we are not being kind. Selfishness quickly undermines manners. Generosity, as well, is difficult for both the miser and the glutton.

Quotes

If the earth does grow inhospitable toward human presence, it is primarily because we have lost our sense of courtesy toward the earth and its inhabitants.
— Thomas Berry quoted in Rummaging for God by Melannie Svoboda

Appreciative words are the most powerful force for good on the earth.
— George W. Crane quoted in Full Esteem Ahead by Diane Loomans

Kindness trumps greed: it asks for sharing. Kindness trumps fear: it calls forth gratefulness and love. Kindness trumps even stupidity, for with sharing and love, one learns.
— Marc Estrin quoted in Prayers for a Thousand Years edited by Elizabeth Roberts and Elias Amidon

Taking a tour of a food shelf and learning ways to help.

(Taken on March 19, 2012)

Be kind to people whether they deserve your kindness or not. If your kindness reaches the deserving, good for you; if your kindness reaches the undeserving, take joy in your compassion.
— James Fadiman and Robert Frager in Essential Sufism

The kindnesses of others fertilize our soul, they become a part of who we are, and we carry them and their love. We feel this when people die, how their gifts remain alive in us.
— Wayne Muller in How, Then, Shall We Live?

If there is any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again.
— William Penn quoted in Lent by Megan McKenna

Books

I read the book How We Behave at the Feast by Dwight Currie which is essentially a book of weekly reflections. Although it is set up like this, I read it in a couple of days instead. These are things I want to remember:
- "...he comes as a guest to the feast of existence, and knows that what matters is not how much he inherits, but how he behaves at the feast, and what people remember and love him for" (from an essay by Boris Pasternak in which he voiced his hope for the youth of the post World War II era).
-  "Where there is too much, something is missing" (an old Jewish saying).
- "The hope of the world lies in what one demands, not of others, but of oneself." (James Baldwin)
- "Mothers are the peacemakers who, by their example, teach us that compromise doesn't mean that we have failed. Mothers are the providers who, by their own sacrifice, show us that sharing doesn't mean we'll have less. And mothers are the judges, far wiser than Solomon, who cannot love one child more than the others but can still bless all children with a love of their own."

Mom sewing a communion dress for one of the girls.

(Taken on November 18, 2009.)

- On going to have picnics at a gravesite: "Often they cried, but just as often they would laugh. Most of their memories were good ones. They felt very comfortable there, and, consequently, so did I. It was a nice place for a picnic."

My dad and mom's grave. This is my dad's side.

(Taken on May 28, 2018.)

- As long as we remember and celebrate the lives of those who are gone, our feast is in no way diminished. We will not dine with an empty chair if we choose instead to have a picnic with our memories."
- "The great secret...is not having bad manners or good manners or any other particular sort of manners, but having the same manner for all human souls: in short, behaving as if you were in Heaven, where there are no third-class carriages, and one soul is as good as another." (George Bernard Shaw, Pygmalion)
- The next time you find yourself dining on someone's reputation, snacking on someone's feelings, or enjoying a steady diet of nothing except stories about yourself, remember you are talking with your mouth full."
- If you need to say you are sorry, say it - then accept the forgiveness that is given. If you need to end a relationship or to recover from a lost love, then do it with honesty, compassion, and grace. If your dreams are dashed, close your eyes and pray for new visions. At the same time, you must wait and watch for the next invitation. One will always come. The trouble is, you won't know you've received it if you're still mired in regrets and remorse.
- When you write a letter, it is an act of faith that there is a friend out there, a confirmation that you are never alone. A letter is always welcome. Not even e-mail or faxes (though decidedly faster and more immediate) are as satisfying and rewarding as finding a letter in your mailbox - the stationery, the hand-addressed envelope. A tangible object was created only for you, it has traveled the miles to overcome time and space, and it is now in your hand. It is a letter from a friend.
- Names are given to children at birth. The gift of a name comes with all the love and all the hope that new life inspires. Names have beginnings.

My mom, dad, and godmother coming out of 

St. Bridget's Catholic Church in Minneapolis 

on my baptismal day. 

(Taken in Summer 1966.)

- To know people's names is to acknowledge their humanity, to listen to their stories, and to share in their future.
- "For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." (Jesus)
- We must take responsibility for our own mistakes and misdeed just as we take delight in our success and achievements.
- Charity derives from the same Latin word as cherish, caress, and care. And care rhymes with share. So, when you think of charity, you should think of what it means to care enough to share what you can spare of your cherished fare.
- We all have our quirks. And our quirks become habits, and our habits become routines, and our routines turn into the rituals that become as sacred as religious traditions. It's how we deal with the passage of time.
- Our habits save time. Our routines preserve time. Our rituals re-create time. Our traditions honor time.

Christmas has always involved having a manger set up, 

Christmas stockings hung by the fireplace, 

a decorated tree, and presents. 

This is me on my first Christmas - almost six months old.

(Taken on December 25, 1966.)

- Rituals get us started and traditions show us the way.
- We need to honor and respect all the ruts, routines, and rituals that people employ as they travel down the road of life. The ruts give them comfort, the routines keep them young, and the rituals remind them that they are not alone.
- The Ark Project is a crusade to save those savory foods that definitely take longer to prepare than they do to consume. You have to create an Ark Project all your own. You have to savor all the old family recipes that will feed and nourish you for a lifetime. The joy, the caring, and the love is in the preparation. Do good by eating - and living - well.

My 52nd birthday dinner made on the grill:

steak with onions and mushrooms; and Brussels sprouts.

(Taken on June 29, 2018.)

- The second book that I read, Heart, was written by Gail Godwin. The book takes us on a journey of  ideas, stories, and anecdotes about the heart beginning with the oldest artistic representation of the heart on a Spanish cave wall in 10,000 B.C. to the most recent books on the subject by the Dalai Lama, Thomas Keating, and Paul Pearsall.

Film 

Babe: Pig in the City is a movie that focuses on kindness through an animal that herds sheep by practicing courtesy and empathy. Now Babe again comes across as a great exemplar of kindness. He is generous and self-sacrificing.

Music

The song Get Together by Chet Powers, was made famous by The Youngbloods. I didn't know the name of this song even though I've heard it many times. The minute I heard it, it brought back good memories of simpler times. Happy times. As Spirituality and Practice said, this song "gives us the key to kindness — smiling on our brothers and trying to love one another right now."

 In Bridge Over Troubled Water by Simon and Garfunkel, the singer goes even further. As Spirituality and Practice said, "He promises to always be there, like a bridge over troubled water, when you are weary, feeling small, down and out, on the street, and even when your time has come to shine. Here kindness is easing the mind."

When you're weary, feeling small
When tears are in your eyes, I'll dry them all (all)
I'm on your side, oh, when times get rough
And friends just can't be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

When you're down and out
When you're on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you (ooo)
I'll take your part, oh, when darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

Sail on silver girl
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way
See how they shine
Oh, if you need a friend
I'm sailing right behind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind

This is kind of a sad/comforting song to listen to - more like one that you would hear if you were going through a very challenging time in your life or if someone died.

Both of these songs were written during the hippie era. Maybe that's why I like them. Simple messages. Comforting. Insightful. Songs I could listen to again and again.

Art

Mexican artist Diego Rivera shows the oppression and nobility of the poor through his paintings. In The Flower Carrier, a kneeling man is burdened by a large basket of flowers on his back. A woman lends support, adjusting the balance of the load. Although it is a small act, it is both helpful and kind.

It reminds me of some of the men and women on the street in China carrying heavy or large loads on their backs or bikes. Having someone to lighten one's load, to provide that support - even in the smallest ways - can make such a tremendous difference for the person who is struggling.

Daily Cue, Reminder, Vow, Blessing

I haven't done these cues or reminders. However, I want to keep them here because I may use them in the future:

• Watering my houseplants is a cue for me to expand my practice of kindness to animals and inanimate beings.

Cooper looking out the window at the backyard.

Lots of plants and fresh-canned strawberry jam are on the counter.

(Taken on June 26, 2014.)

• Watching someone give up their seat to an elderly person is a reminder for me to make the little kind gestures.

• Knowing how nice it is to receive compliments, I vow to praise someone as an act of kindness today.

Practice of the Day

The Buddha taught lay people the virtue of making the "seven offerings that cost nothing": . . . a compassionate eye, a smiling face, loving words, physical service, a warm heart, a seat, and lodging.
— Jiko Kohno in Right View, Right Life

To Practice This Thought: Make one of the seven offerings that cost nothing.

Olivia on horseback doing therapeutic horseback riding.

(Taken on August 21, 2007.)

Journal Exercises

This is an interesting idea that I would like to start doing at some point:

Write a portrait of "The Kindest Person I Know," including specific examples of this person's kind deeds.

Tristine Rainer in The New Diary makes an interesting observation about the value of writing portraits, especially of someone you admire: "By writing diary portraits of people who intrigue you, you enter their qualities in your book, in your space, and begin the process of recognizing and taking possession of those qualities."

Discussion Questions, Storytelling, Sharing

• Giving to others is one part of the spiritual practice of kindness. Another is being able to receive graciously the gifts of others. Which are you better at? Why?

Without going into a lot of detail, I would say that I am much better at giving to others and being kind. I enjoy thinking of ways that I can be of service and be helpful.

Receiving gifts - although always welcomed and appreciated - is, for me, harder to do. I feel like I am imposing on others.

The sensory and memory quilt I made for my dad 

after he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease.

(Taken on December 21, 2009.)

• Who has taught you the most about generosity and kindness? Do you think they are given enough attention in our society? Explain your views.

My parents, by far, taught me most about generosity and kindness. Their entire life revolved around hospitality, service, volunteering, and being generous with their time, experience, and skills. The way they lived their lives was inspiring, and definitely had a huge impact on the way that I have led my life and the way that I have carried on their legacy by teaching Sophia and Olivia the importance of giving of oneself to help others.

I don't think people like my parents were or are recognized enough in our society. More attention is focused on physical beauty, wealth, athletic ability, and other traits that truly don't make the positive impact on others that generosity or kindness do.

Household, Group, and Community Projects

• Donate blood through local hospitals and other programs. Help organize a blood drive at your place of work or worship.

I helped call over 70 prospective blood donors for a blood drive that was held by our local Lions club in mid-June. I'm also helping call over 80 prospective blood donors for a blood drive that my daughter is coordinating on July 11th.

I've also helped Sophia with the blood drives she's hosted; and provided volunteer support for her as needed. I'll be doing the same on July 11th.

Sophia working on the blood drive that 

she hosted in March 2018.

(Taken on March 3, 2018.)

I haven't done these projects yet, though I want to list them so I can do them at some point:

• Reframe household responsibilities as acts of kindness. For example, emptying the litter box is being kind to the cat. Dusting is being kind to furniture (in the sense that it is being taken care of and not neglected). Hanging up your clothes is being kind to them (I'm guessing here that Spirituality and Practice means that you are caring for your clothes and making them last longer).

Draw up a list of etiquette practices toward members of your household, pets, the place where you reside, the natural world, neighbors, etc.

• Keep a bank or box in your home and deposit loose change in it. Every time you go out to dinner, you might put money to pay for another meal in the box. Hold a household council to decide how to distribute your generosity fund.

• Rabbi David Cooper points out that in the Jewish tradition it is considered a high level of charity to help people become more self-sufficient by enabling them to educate and train themselves or to start their own business. As a group, begin a Scholarship or an Entrepreneur's Fund.