Something that Made Me Happy - November 2018

When I look back on November, there were many things that made me happy:

- The 15th anniversary of Olivia's adoption day on November 17th.

- The 17th anniversary of Sophia's adoption day on November 26th.

- Spending time with my family on Thanksgiving Day.

- Spending a couple of hours on the day after Thanksgiving Day packing food at Feed My Starving Children.

- Doing new and traditional things on the Saturday and Sunday of Thanksgiving weekend. It was a bittersweet weekend realizing that it was the last one in which all of us would be together as a family (with the girls both in high school).

One of the things that we did in November as a family was go on a college visit to Bethel University in St. Paul. The focus of the admissions event was music, so they had a cake reception with music department professors and the dean of the college; a behind-the-scenes tour of the auditorium; and tickets to watch the annual Christmas performance by over 300 students.

Below is a picture of what part of the organ looks like behind the stage.

We heard the handbell choir before the performance. It was beautiful. I really enjoy listening to handbells.

Another thing that made me happy was our pets. Below are Cooper and Scooby resting on the bathroom floor. The floors are heated so the pets especially like resting in the bathroom during the winter when the house and floors all seem chillier.

The pets get along with one another which is nice. Eenie, the cat, and Danny both wanted to sit on Sophia's lap. (Yes, there are a lot of dishes drying in the sink and on the counter. It's right after the big Thanksgiving dinner.)

Another thing that made me very happy was getting an email from the African Library Project saying that the books we collected back in March-May 2018 had arrived in Malawi, Africa.

The 1,012 books we collected and shipped are now being unpacked at the school that serves 465 orphans and vulnerable children. The picture bellows shows some of the boxes being unloaded.

Of course, one of the things that always makes me happy are beautiful sunsets. The sun is setting now more towards the southwest as we move into winter. I like this time of the year because we can see the incredibly vibrant colors of the sky and clouds.

With the leaves of the trees, we can see more of the sunset as well. I wish these colors could be painted on my wall so I could feel like I'm seeing this sunset all the time.

The Out-of-Sync Child Grows Up (Book Notes)

Many years ago, I read The Out-of-Sync Child to better understand Sensory Processing Disorder (aka Sensory Integration Dysfunction) since both Olivia and Sophia have it. There was a companion book, The Out-of-Sync Child Has Fun, which had many ideas for doing engaging and fun activities with children who have SPD.

As the girls became older children and teens, the activities weren't as age appropriate. So, when I saw The Out-of-Sync Child Grows Up by Carol Stock Kranowitz I knew I needed to read it so I could learn more about how to help the girls as they went through their teenage and adult years.

The book is a combination of information about SPD, strategies for dealing with different elements of SPD, and essays by teens and parents of teens who have SPD. This blend of perspectives was very insightful and provided good information and ideas for moving forward with the girls. Many of the strategies we already use. However, there were some new ideas that we can try as well as reassurance that the girls aren't the only ones experiencing these challenges. 

Some things that stood out that I want to remember:
- Certain boys and girls respond to unremarkable experiences in remarkably unusual ways. They may resist going places and being with other people. They may reject huge...or crave them constantly. They may go, go, go...of lack get-up-and-go. They may dress sloppily, eat only pasta, drop and break everything, whimper or rage over "nothing" for no apparent reason, insist on doing things their way, and act immaturely for their age, even as they grow. With their late and slow, or rapid and intense, or otherwise "off" responses, they seem out of sync with other people and the world.
- SPD occurs in the central nervous system when one's brain can't react typically to sensory messages, coming from one's body and environment, in order to function smoothly in daily life.
- "I was 11 when I finally learned to ride a bike because of my balance issues and 18 when I learned to drive because I had trouble with space and where the car was on the road and especially with parking."

Sophia's first bike ride of the year.

(April 5, 2011)

- "I was notoriously messy. My room looked like a tornado ran through it..."
- "As you get older, you'll be more aware and in tune with your body....I have learned to control how I respond to sensory challenges."
- "I tolerate irritants, like having my teeth cleaned, because I know they will go away."

Sophia pulling out Olivia's wiggly tooth.

(April 23, 2014)

- Auditory-language skills, based on the auditory sense, enable a person not just to hear sounds and words but to understand and respond to them. Activities dependent on good auditory-language skills include:
     => Listening to the teacher, remembering and following directions
     => Articulating speech sounds clearly enough to be understood
     => Engaging in conversations, answering questions, and making apt comments
     => Using language for verbal and written self-expression
     => Using auditory feedback to self-monitor voice volume
- Imagine extreme examples of what things feel like. Imagine wearing scratchy sandpaper clothes that make you itch all over, all day. Imagine washing your face in a buck of perfume. Imagine feeling as if you're going to fall off a cliff when you walk a few steps. Imagine sitting right near the stage, next to a rock band's amplifier.
- The goal is to help all children and adults manage their sensory challenges so they can lead satisfying, productive lives.
- A subtype of Sensory Modulation Disorder is sensory over-responsivity - causing the person is a "sensory avoider" to shrink from stimuli (e.g., malodorous, spicy, jolting and prickly stimuli, but also mild everyday stimuli can quickly make the sensory avoider irritated...very irritated...or angry and thoroughly miserable."
     => Light, unexpected touch can be bothersome. Being kissed or caressed makes them uncomfortable.

Olivia wearing a fireman's hat at the 

annual fire department's open house.

This was a challenging experience wearing

the hat and something over her face.

(October 9, 2007)

- For sensory cravers, there's the interoceptive subtype. Someone can eat a whole pizza or a gallon of ice cream, and then some more, to get the sensation of being full.
- For Sensory Discrimination Disorder, there's a vestibular subtype. An example would be never learning to ride a bike because of poor coordination and balance.
- There's a visual subtype. An example is learning how to drive. A teen could have difficulty knowing where the car is on the road, where other cars are in relationship to hers, and especially how to parallel park.

Sophia is driving the Jeep so she can bring in a load of pumpkins.

She's 10 years old in this photo.

She's driving from the field and through the pasture. 

She opted not to drive through the backyard and to the driveway.

(October 16, 2011)

- The auditory (hearing) subtype means that someone could have difficulty understanding jokes and puns, a teacher's verbal instructions, or what a friend just told her.
- The gustatory (taste) subtype means that they can't discriminate when she has a bad taste in her mouth and should brush her teeth.
- Self-blame abounds. Teenagers with SPD may feel week and inadequate. They may wonder, "If other people can tolerate noise, odors, escalators, and wool mittens, if other people can keep calm in stimulating situations, if other people can do this and that, why can't I?"
- Some teens attempt to cope by turning away from other people and becoming loners.
- "If someone with SPD says something's bothering them, take it seriously. If it isn't fixed, it will get worse and worse."
- "We're just like everyone else, except more sensitive to sound, sight, touch, smell, motion...to everything in our environment."
- "If I say I need a minute or two, give me time and do not rush me. Don't punish me for needing a break."

The girls resting with some of the pets on the bed.

They would alternate between homeschooling and resting.

(April 2, 2013)

- Strategy for sensory demands that give a person trouble: Break it down into its sensory components. For example, with toothbrushing: Does the toothbrush hurt your gums? Does the taste or smell of the minty toothpaste with artificial sweeteners gross you out? Figure out what type of toothbrush works best and what type of toothpaste is palatable.
- For shaving: use a shaving cream with a texture and scent you like to help with desensitizing the skin. You can also use deep pressure to massage on the shaving cream.
- Challenges with clothing: "I don't like the tag's feel against my skin....It's too tight."
- Some teens with sensory challenges like their clothing loose; others like it tight. Some like it hot, preferring layers; other like it cold, wearing shorts, t-shirts, and sandals in the winter.

Girls wearing loose dresses. 

These were the most comfortable for them 

since they were tight against their skin.

(March 23, 2008)

- "I would scratch so hard because the pain of cuts felt better than what the clothes felt like on my skin."
- "I would take burning hot baths until my skin would turn red." (This is being under-responsive to temperatures.)
- Buy clothes a side too large; they will give you less skin friction. Or, if snug clothes are more comfortable, wear bodysuit shapewear underneath.
- Look for tagless shirts to avoid the irritation and stinging.
- At home, go barefoot or just wear socks.

Sophia cutting fabric. She wears socks in indoors.

Olivia prefers to go barefoot indoors and 

not wear socks - even when wearing shoes or boots.

(July 20, 2009)

- Consider buying "preconditioned" clothing from a consignment or thrift shop.
- In the house during the winter, use a humidifier to keep humidity in the range of 40-60 percent to reduce static and prevent dry, itchy skin.
- Find activities involving deep pressure that desensitize your skin and feel good, such as having someone push against you, being rolled over and under a big therapy ball, and relaxing under a weighted blanket.
- Always put some food on the table that the choosy eater finds acceptable.

Olivia helping make homemade pickles.

Pickles are one thing that she enjoys eating.

Lunches and dinners often times include pickles.

(September 1, 2010)

- Driving: avoid busy streets, because there may be too much going on to process the movements, noises, lights, and so on. Practice a long time on easy roads before going out on highways and more traffic.
- Do hatha yoga.
- "I became aware that I can't understand what the person next to me is saying because there is so much noise."
- When the going gets tough, sit down and pull over - and breathe. Don't push yourself past your breaking point.
- Use the time you spend traveling from place to place to learn new things. Listen to soothing music if you must concentrate on driving. Listen to audiobooks and interesting interviews if you are traveling on the bus, train, or airplane.

Music we've checked out of the library.

(Taken on June 28, 2013)

- Drape a "lap buddy" (pillow or tube sock filled with beans or fish-tank  gravel) on your thighs or shoulders to provide calming weight.
- Fidget with handheld items that are appropriate for the place (Chinese therapy balls at home, squeezable gadgets in public places).
- Advocate for yourself in a school setting and let instructors know if certain things bother you or if you need extra time and a quiet room for exams.
- Spend lots of time outdoors, ideally in the country or woods. Looking, listening, and moving outdoors will enrich your understanding not only of the subject you're studying, but also of biology and earth science.

Girls enjoying being outdoors.

They are exploring the pond in the west pasture.

(Taken on March 30, 2011.)

- Listening to instrumental music when your work involves reading and writing; and music with lyrics when work is manual - like painting or raking.
- Get at least 30 minutes of whole-body exercise preferably outdoors, every day and at least three hours before you go to bed.
- For two hours before going to sleep, avoid electronics that can interfere with relaxation and suppress the release of melatonin, which brings on drowsiness.
- Relax with a calming activity: rock in a rocking chair; take a warm bath; read a real book or magazine.

Olivia reading to Montague.

(Taken on December 3, 2012.)

- Block out house or street sounds with a fan or white noise machine.
- Ways to create a sense of belonging: Do activities together such as preparing food, walking the dog, doing errands, watching a movie, playing board games, organizing photographs, or designing scrapbooks.
- Become "compassionate collectors." A socially-active enterprise has innumerable benefits for the family and community. Not only does this work encourage mindfulness of others, but it also nourishes the sensory systems and develops praxis. Examples: grow and/or prepare food to bring to a shelter for homeless people. Collect clothes, toiletries, and cosmetics or food; and then sorting, boxing, lifting, and carrying the items to a shelter.

Sophia and Olivia with some of the books they collected

to create the first-ever library in Lesotho, Africa.

(Taken on May 30, 2012.)

- "My inability to pick up on social cues, coupled with my mental and emotional dysfunction...skewed my thought process. My extracurriculars were nonexistent."
- "I developed an addiction to the internet. When I wasn't in class, I was on the computer....I never went to parties, never drank, and never did drugs. I didn't go to parties...because I felt like I needed a direct invitation."
- "I rarely had contact with other members outside of group events....I still feel like I need permission to join in with others."
- "Accumulated sensory input, especially noise, can be way too much to handle, which is why I often isolate myself in my room with the door shut."
- "Those of us with SPD spend more time with our families than with peers, especially if family members are caring and accepting and try not to push our buttons."

The girls' First Communion.

Olivia was almost 7 years old and

Sophia just turned 9 years old.

(Taken on January 10, 2010.)

- "While our self-confidence may not grow as quickly, and we may not be as well prepared for adulthood, we still benefit greatly from having tight-knit family bonds."

The girls with my mom and me.

A rare three-generation photo.

(Taken on February 9, 2014)

One of the mothers of a daughter with SPD said, "Raising my daughter has been one of my most joyful and rewarding challenges." I couldn't agree more!

Something that Made Me Happy this Month - May 2018

For the "Something That Made Me Happy This Month - May" swap on Swap-Bot, the goal of the swap is to tell three partners something that made me happy this past month (e.g., an event I attended, a book I read, a movie I watched, a new person I met).

There were many things that happened during the past month that made me happy. On May 3rd, Sophia and I went to Cascade Falls in Osceola, Wisconsin, to see the waterfall. She was able to stand behind it which was refreshing.

On May 5th, we experienced a fire at our farm. We lost the two-story hobby shed, playhouse, and 15 trees. The siding on our home is warped and the front, half of our horse barn's siding and doors were burned; and the left side of our car is melted.

Many outdoor things - gardens, furniture, and deck - all had embers that landed on them and either burned it completely or left burn marks. Across the street, the embers landed and started a 14-acre fire in a cornfield.

Despite the fire, a positive thing - something that made me happy - was to see how many people came forth to make and bring us food (which was especially appreciated when our propane was turned off during and after the fire for two days); help with Spring chores; and fix our mower which had not been working.

On May 8th, Sophia and I enjoyed a delicious barbecue meatball sandwich and fresh salad that someone from church brought us.

On May 9th, I walked around our farm to assess what had burned and to see what new growth was coming up. A red-winged blackbird, who was sitting on one of the cattails in the pond, flew by. I love their song and it always makes me happy hearing them.

Although sad that a tree had burned in the pasture, I was intrigued to see a heart-shape when I looked through it. This brought both reassurance and joy.

The apple blossoms were beginning to emerge.

On another apple tree, the white blossoms were attracting bees and giving off a beautiful fragrance.

On Friday, May 11th, Sophia and I went to the humane society where she played for dogs waiting to be adopted. We were happy to see that within a couple days, several of the dogs we spent time with were adopted!

On Saturday, May 12th, Olivia and I took a Saori weaving class together which was fun. I always enjoy taking art classes; and this one is a favorite of mine.

Olivia, Sophia, and I spent time after the weaving class exploring the Shepherds Harvest festival and enjoying seeing the brightly-colored wool, fiber art products, and variety of looms.

On Mother's Day, May 13th, I had a relaxing day which was nice. I wasn't feeling well, but was still able to get a lot done with the contents loss statement (from the fire). In the evening, the girls made me a delicious dinner that we enjoyed together as a family.

What makes me especially happy is seeing their beautiful smiles and thinking back on the many wonderful memories we have made together throughout the years.

On May 14th and 16th, volunteers from the Lions Club came to help with clean-up from the fire and Spring chores. A huge project that was accomplished was clearing out the loft of the horse barn. There was water-saturated hay and straw in the loft (the firefighters had to wet everything down so that it wouldn't catch on fire since the barn was already burning).

One of the Lions and I worked on clearing the loft. He said it was good when we did it because the hay was already getting hot (wet hay can start a fire). We are so thankful - and happy - that we didn't lose the horse barn!

On Wednesday afternoon, May 16th, Sophia, Olivia, and I - along with two other teens and another parent - packaged 1,012 books in 16 boxes and shipped them to the African Library Project.

Because of all the books we collected and money raised, we are able to create the first-ever library in Malawi, Africa, for 465 orphans and vulnerable children.

From May 17th-19th, Olivia and I went camping at Forestville State Park in southern Minnesota. We stayed in camper cabins there (a different one each night) and visited two caves during the days. One we visited was Niagara Cave which had a lot of interesting fossils.

We visited many Amish farms and greenhouses; and bought some plants for the garden and patio.

We went on several hikes at Forestville State Park and Lake Louise State Park. We had never visited either park, so it made me happy to be able to explore different beautiful parts of the state; and be able to mark off our list two more state parks that we've seen.

The other cave that we saw while was Mystery Cave. There's a turquoise lake in the cave which was interesting to see.

Another thing that made me happy this month was seeing Sophia share her musical gifts at church. On May 13th (Mother's Day), she was the piano accompanist to the children's choir. They sang two songs and did a nice job.

On May 20th, she played the harp with other youth harpists and her teacher. They played the prelude, during the service, and postlude.

Sophia also played the harp and piano at the homeschool graduation ceremony on Tuesday, May 22nd. She did a fantastic job - no errors - during the processional or recessional.

On Wednesday, May 23rd, one of the Lions came over with his Bobcat and moved the water-saturated hay and straw we got out of the barn into a compost pile; moved the horse bedding into another compost pile; and moved the fire pit where we used to burn brush into the haul-away pile (from the shed fire). Things look so much better now.

It also motivated me to clean the barn out completely on Sunday, May 27th. The horses now have fresh, new bedding which looks a lot better. It was a tremendous relief to get that done. Another thing that makes me happy: to have projects that I've wanted to get done finally accomplished!

On Sunday evening of Memorial Day weekend, we had a meal together since Paige was leaving for a business trip the next day. For part of the meal, I made a couple recipes that reminded me of my parents and grandparents: potato salad that my mom used to make and banana bread that my grandma on my dad's side used to make.

On Memorial Day, Sophia and I enjoyed a lunch at El Burrito Mercado after she donated platelets. We split a lunch meal because the portions are so generous. We each got 2 spicy chicken tacos, refried beans, and Spanish rice.

So, despite the fire and loss early in the month, there were many positive things that happened during May. As I look back on the month, it makes me happy to see so many things that brought joy to my life as well as to those we helped through volunteering and service.

My Favorite Photos of the Month - April

As I look back at the photos I took during April, there are many that are my favorites - not because they are exemplary examples of photography. Rather, they reflect unusual weather we experienced, volunteering we do as a family, people I love, and new chapters in our lives.

April started with a snowstorm that left many migrating birds and waterfowl wondering why they left a warmer climate.

The pond pictured below is on our way to the clinic/hospital where Sophia gets allergy shots every 2-4 weeks. The pond was filled with a variety of ducks, geese, and swans.

The next day, when we passed by the pond, it was empty - all the waterfowl had moved on to another location. I was happy to have the photo as a reminder of how much wildlife we saw in a relatively tiny spot.

On April 7th, Sophia and I went to a tea party hosted by the homeschool co-op. I'm not sure why we haven't gone in the past. It was a lovely event. Each person brought their own tea cup and saucer, so it was nice to see the variety of dishes.

There were so many different types of sandwiches, pastries, and desserts. Everything was delicious.

On April 13th, Sophia and I volunteered at Northwoods Humane Society where Sophia plays the harp for animals waiting to be adopted. We took many dogs out so they could be pet and receive one-on-one attention while Sophia played the harp.

There was one dog, though, who was so scared and reactive that he had to stay in his kennel. Sophia played the harp right in front of his kennel, and the more she played, the more his tail wagged. He looked much happier and content after listening to harp music.

Also on the 13th, the girls did a display and baked cookies that represented Malawi at the Festival of Cultures. They are collecting 1,000 books and raising $500 to help create a library in Malawi. It's the first-ever library at a school that serves 465 orphans and vulnerable children.

Starting on the late-evening of April 13th and continuing throughout the weekend, 18 inches of snow fell - about six inches per day. Combined with strong, blowing winds that created drifts that were knee to hip-level high, it made for a memorable experience.

Below is the snow that fell on the evening of the 15th and early morning of the 16th.

The birds - which had already begun migrating back to their summer homes - were left scrambling for food. With the ground still frozen and insects not flying, they relied on birdseed and suet at feeders. Below is a flock of 25 red-winged blackbirds.

Normally, red-winged blackbirds are down at the pond living amongst the cattails. Never have we seen so many at our feeders. It showed us how dependent they were on us to provide food for them.

On Thursday, April 19th, we attended an event for blood drive coordinators. The American Red Cross had many educational sessions in the morning followed by a taco bar lunch and desserts. We learned a lot and had a nice lunch together.

April was the time for three college visits. Sophia and I visited St. Catherine University and Northwestern University; and Olivia, Sophia, and I visited Bethel University - all on Fridays (the 6th, 20th, and 27th respectively).

The girls were able to go to college classes, meet with department heads, talk with professors, hear from students in different majors, and go to sessions about topics of interest.

Below, Sophia is at Northwestern in their auditorium.

On April 21st, Sophia and some of the Leo Club went to a mobile packing event for Feed My Starving Children. In about two hours, the teens and adults ended up packing 20 boxes filled with 36 packets each of food (720 total). This represented over 4,000 meals!

Also on the 21st, we attended an appreciation lunch for volunteers at the nursing home where we volunteer. We had a nice lunch and enjoyed talking with some of the other volunteers. We had to leave before the event was done because Sophia had a jewelry-making class at the art center in the afternoon.

By the third week of April, the snow was beginning to melt and we were seeing geese and ducks landing and swimming in the pond. The frogs emerged from hibernation and began singing. One of the sure signs that Spring has come!

On Sunday, April 22nd, we went as a family to the Mall of America. It was one of Sophia's birthday's gifts - going to the Mall and having lunch there as well as getting one item (she chose a new pair of tennis shoes).

There are 12 different things we are doing as a family between her 17th and 18th birthdays...the last year she is a "child." We plan to do the same thing for Olivia between her 17th and 18th birthdays.

The girls wanted to go to the American Girl store - a place where they enjoyed visiting when they were younger. They read the entire American Girl series - about each of the historical characters - during elementary school. Kaya, who is standing by her tipi, was the first character that the girls read about and did activities relating to the Nez Perce.

We stopped by a store after lunch that had a lot of items from Japan and Korea. There were animal-head backpacks that were huge. Olivia is holding the lion backpack below.

The month ended quite differently than it began in terms of weather. We were able to be outdoors without jackets; the lakes, ponds, and rivers are all ice-free now; and there's warm sunshine each day.

On the 27th, we were able to go on a golf-cart tour of Bethel University. It was a great way to see the 250+ acre campus.

At our first visit back in January, we only saw a small fraction of the campus (the academic buildings and a freshman dorm). There was so much more housing, a seminary/art studio space, beehives, gardens, and sports facilities that we saw on the golf-cart tour.

It was a bit windy on the 27th, and it brought back memories of a trolley ride we took when we visited Boston in September 2011. After going on a tour of Boston, there were roads blocked off for an event. The trolley driver asked if everyone would be okay with  going on the freeway to get back to our starting point. Everyone said, "Yes."

So, the open-air trolley went on the freeway - the wind whipping through the trolley. Everyone with long hair had their hair going all over the place. It was a wild...and quite memorable...ride. 

Anyway...April was a full month with lots of good memories.