The Wisdom of Sundays - Book Review and Notes

This week I read The Wisdom of Sundays - Life-Changing Insights from Super Soul Conversations by Oprah Winfrey. I had mixed feelings about the book. There were some people who had things that resonated with me while with others, there was nothing to which I could relate. The majority of the book fell into the latter category.

Essentially The Wisdom of Sundays is a series of conversations that Oprah had with leaders in “great thought.” Some of these were guests who were on her show, Super Soul Sunday. Other guests were ones she knew had been on their own spiritual journey and, as Oprah said, their “wise words have led me to knowing for sure that we are all spiritual beings having a human experience.” 

Not related to the content of the book, I found that the typeface was challenging to read - especially the italics for some reason. So, that made me skim over some parts since it took too much effort to try to read the book. 

That being said, the following are quotes or passages that I found valuable

- Your spirit is the part of you that is seeking meaning and purpose. That's one way someone can relate to that. Another way to understand spirit is that it's the part of you that is drawn to hope, that will not give in to despair. The part of you that has to believe in goodness that has to believe in something more. (Caroline Myss)

- For many years, I suffered from what I call a "disease to please." I worried that if I ever said no to something, people were going to think I wasn't nice, or they might think I was selfish and ask, "Why wouldn't she do that for me?"I made the shift to listen to the truth of who I really was, telling me what I really wanted. Before you agree to do anything that might add even the smallest amount of stress to your life, ask yourself, What is my truest intention? When the intention is right, and the answer is yes, your entire body will feel it. (Oprah)

- When you find yourself in a new situation, a new circumstance, a new life experience, everything that requires healing is going to rush to the surface. And if you don't take a minute to breathe, to gather yourself, to pray, you will do what you've always done. (Iyanla Vanzant)

New situation - how to raise rabbits after t

he den was found by one of our dogs. 

- If you've been faking your way through life, ignoring your inner compass, the wake-up call can be harsh: job loss, the end of a relationship, money problems, disruption in any form. Your real purpose on Earth is to become more of who you really are - to live to the highest degree what is pure, what is honest, what is natural, what feels like the real you. (Oprah)

- I can use the best of my talent and ability and influence to enhance the kingdom of God on Earth, which I believe comprises peace and freedom and the alleviation of suffering, human rights...When I was president, we never dropped a bomb, we never fired a missile, we never shot a bullet. (President Jimmy Carter)

Source

-I believe that everyone has a God-size hole inside of them that we try to fill with shopping or with a relationship or food or sex or drugs. But it's not out there. It's in here. It's an internal connection. And that's what a spiritual practice, listening to your intuition, having a creative expression, being of service is all about. That is how you sustainably fill up your God-size hole. Otherwise, it's like a drop that's disconnected from the ocean. You just wither and die. (Mastin Kipp)

- You will forgive because you love yourself so much that you don't want to keep hurting yourself for whatever happened. Whatever happened is done and cannot be changed. And we have to accept that and keep going with our life. (Don Miguel Ruiz)

- There is not one experience, no matter how devastating, no matter how torturous it may appear to have been, there is nothing that's ever wasted. Everything that is happening to you is being drawn into your life as a means to help you evolve into who you were really meant to be on Earth. It's not the thing that matters, it's what that thing opens within you. (Oprah)

- Any hint of discomfort or agitation that could lead to confrontation, rejections, or anyone being upset would cause me to eat. (Oprah)

- My life changed when I started writing down five things I was grateful for each day. (Oprah)

- Follow your bliss. Pay attention to those moments when you're lit up, when time just flies by. When you're in that field of joyful expression, which is generally in contribution and being in service of some kind. Some sense of connection in your life. (Gary Zukav)

- When I really wanted something, I always got it. Positive and negative. Because the Universe does not think. You have this subconscious mind that sometimes is attracting tragedy. Attracting bad things. Because you want to be a victim. Because to be a victim is to justify a lot of frustrations and failures in your life. The Universe is helping you. You want to be successful. The Universe is helping you. (Paulo Coelho)

- My belief is that the whole purpose of life is to gain mastery - master our emotions, our finances, our relationships, our consciousness- through meditation, things like that. And it's not about the stuff. All the stuff can be taken away. People lose their fortunes. They lose their reputation. Beautiful spouses die or leave you. But who you become in the process can never be taken away. Never. You are mastering through the process of overcoming these obstacles that you face in life. (Jack Canfield)

- We are busier than any other generation we have seen in the last three to four hundred years. We are so busy. And we think because we're busy, we're effective. But I want you to challenge your schedule for a minute and ask yourself, are you really being effective, or is your life cluttered with all kinds of stuff that demands you, and drains you, and taxes you, and stops you from being your highest and best self? And are you substituting busyness and all the chaos that goes along with busyness for being effective? (Bishop T.D. Jakes)

- The only limit to your success is your own imagination. Whatever you can imagine is possible. (Shonda Rhimes)

- You are fulfilled when you get up in the morning. So many times we get up in the morning, we're depressed. We're down. We're angry. We're frustrated. But when you can wake up saying, "I'm glad to be alive. There is purpose to this day." To me, that is success. And I would argue that once you have that internal success, then externally it's just a manifestation of what happens internally in the best possible way. (DeVon Franklin)

- When you love someone, the best thing you can offer him or her is your presence. How can you love if you are not there? You offer him or her your true presence. You are not preoccupied with the past, or the future, your projects. You are for your beloved one. (Thich Nhat Hanh)

- Love is when you choose to be at your best when the other person is not at their best. (Pastor Wintley Phipps)

- The triggers for happiness are similar worldwide. It's a deep social connection. The breadth and depth and the meaning in our relationships is one of the greatest predictors of long-term levels of happiness we have. Only 10% of our long-term levels of happiness are based upon the external world. 90% of our long-term happiness is how the brain processes the world we find ourselves in. (Shawn Achor)

How to Be Compassionate - Read 52 Books in 52 Weeks - Week 6

How to Be Compassionate: A Handbook for Creating Inner Peace and a Happier World by His Holiness The Dalai Lama is the second book I read that is part of my two-week focus on the spiritual practice of compassion.

There were many things The Dalai Lama said that resonated with me and that I found particularly meaningful. His wisdom - which may seem simple given the complexity of today's world - is quite advanced given his experience and insight into the human mind and behavior.

As David Kittelstrom said, "His compassion is not timid or vague; it is solid, resolute, and above all wise. The difference is that His Holiness understands the mind — the power of our thoughts and emotions in shaping reality. He sees the precise relationship between the motivation we have and the results we get, and his life exemplifies the depth of his recognition."

These are the ideas that The Dalai Lama shared that I want to remember:

- Compassion, or the desire to remove the suffering of another, is of course a central ideal
for the practicing Buddhist.

- In my lifetime, I have lost my country and have been reduced to being totally dependent on the goodwill of others. I have also lost my mother, and most of my tutors and lamas have passed away. Of course, these are tragic incidents, and I feel sad when I think about them. However, I don’t feel overwhelmed by sadness. Old, familiar faces disappear and new faces appear, but I still maintain my happiness and peace of mind. This capacity to relate to events from a broader perspective is, for me, one of the marvels of human nature, and I believe it is rooted in our capacity for compassion and kindness toward others.

- We humans have existed in our present form for about a hundred thousand years. I believe that if during this time the human mind had been primarily controlled by anger and hatred, our population would have decreased. But today, despite all our wars, we find that the human population is greater than ever. This clearly indicates to me that while anger and aggression are surely present, love and compassion predominate in the world. This is why what we call “news” is composed of mostly unpleasant or tragic events; compassionate activities are so much a part of daily life that they are taken for granted and therefore are largely ignored.

- We are, after all, social animals. Without human friendship, without the human smile, our lives become miserable. The loneliness becomes unbearable. Such human interdependence is a natural law— that is to say, according to natural law, we depend on others to live.

- When you are young, healthy, and strong, you sometimes can get the feeling that you are totally independent and do not need anyone else. But this is an illusion. Even at that prime age of your life,
simply because your are a human being, you need friends, don’t you? This is especially true when we become old. For example, in my own case, the Dalai Lama, who is now in his sixties, is beginning to show various signs of approaching old age. I can see the appearance of more white hair on my head, and I am also starting to experience problems sometimes with the knees when getting up or sitting down. As we grow old, we need to rely more and more on the help of others: this is the nature of our lives as human beings.

- What is the purpose of life? I believe that our life’s purpose is to be happy. From the moment of birth, every human being wants happiness and does not want suffering. Neither social conditioning, nor education, nor ideology affect this. From the very core of our being, we simply desire contentment material comfort alone is not enough. No material object, however beautiful or valuable, can make us feel loved. We need something deeper, what I usually refer to as human affection. With human affection, or compassion, all the material advantages that we have at our disposal can be very constructive and can produce good results. Without human affection, however, material advantages alone will not satisfy us, nor will they produce in us any measure of mental peace or happiness. In fact, material advantages without human affection may even create additional problems.

- However capable and skillful an individual may be, left alone, he or she will not survive. However vigorous and independent we may feel during the most prosperous periods of life, when we are sick, or very young or very old, we depend on the support of others.

- As human beings we all have the potential to be happy and compassionate people, and we also have the potential to be miserable and harmful to others. The potential for all these things is present within each of us. If we want to be happy, then the important thing is to try to promote the positive and useful aspects in each of us and to try to reduce the negative. Doing negative things, such as stealing and lying, may occasionally seem to bring some short-term satisfaction, but in the long term they will always bring us misery. Positive acts always bring us inner strength. With inner strength we have less fear and more self-confidence, and it becomes much easier to extend our sense of caring to others without any barriers, whether religious, cultural, or otherwise. It is thus very important to recognize our potential for both good and bad, and then to observe and analyze it carefully. This is what I call the promotion of human value.

- The moment you think only of yourself, the focus of your whole reality narrows, and because of this narrow focus, uncomfortable things can appear huge and bring you fear and discomfort and a sense of feeling overwhelmed by misery. The moment you think of others with a sense of caring, however, your view widens. Within that wider perspective, your own problems appear to be of little significance, and this makes a big difference. If you have a sense of caring for others, you will manifest a kind of inner strength in spite of your own difficulties and problems. With this strength, your own problems will seem less significant and bothersome to you. By going beyond your own problems and taking care of others, you gain inner strength, self-confidence, courage, and a
greater sense of calm. This is a clear example of how one’s way of thinking can really make a difference.

- Kindness and a good heart form the underlying foundation for our success in this life.

- We not only need compassion and human affection to survive, but they are the ultimate sources of success in life. Selfish ways of thinking not only harm others, they prevent the very happiness we
ourselves desire.

Looking for 48 Acts of Kindness for My 48th Birthday?

On Sunday, July 13th, an article about my 48 acts of kindness for my 48th birthday was featured in the St. Paul Pioneer Press.

To read about each of the acts of kindness and see pictures of what I did, please visit my blog post about it HERE.

To read the article in the St. Paul Pioneer Press, please visit HERE.

0pen Heart - Read 52 Books in 52 Weeks - Week 29

Elie Wiesel’s Open Heart was the book I selected for the 29th week of the Read 52 Books in 52 Weeks challenge. I read one of his other books, Night, after he appeared on Oprah; and found it to be a moving, insightful, and reflective book. So, with Night in mind, I was looking forward to reading Open Heart.

This book, however, left me feeling both surprised and a bit disappointed. It did not have the depth that I was expecting considering the topic as well as what Mr. Wiesel is capable of writing.
Open Heart centers on Mr. Wiesel’s open heart surgery at 82 years old. Prior to and following the surgery, he reflects back on his life. He thinks about people, situations he’s been in, books he’s written, and his time at concentration camps, including Auschwitz.

It is clear that he feels an immense sense of gratitude and love towards his life, children, and grandchildren. He conveys these eloquently not only for the benefit of the reader, but more so for his family who will read and treasure his words.

He wonders if he has done enough for those who survived as well as those who perished during World War II at the hands of the Nazis. He wrote about his family who also were sent to the concentration camps. Although he spent time with his father at one, his family died before they could be liberated. Yet, as Mr. Wiesel points out, “In truth, my father never leaves me. Nor do my mother and little sister. They have stayed with me, appearing in every one of my tales, in every one of my dreams. In everything I teach.”

Mr. Wiesel’s faith is woven throughout the book. He questions God; reflects upon mankind and decisions people make and their impact; and wonders about justice and tolerance.

I found parts of the book interesting – particularly because they struck a personal chord with me or reminded me of situations that I’ve encountered in my life. The first one was as Mr. Wiesel was nearing the time of the surgery and seeing his family before the nurses were going to bring him to the operating room. He thinks, “Through the tears that darken the future, a thought awakens a deeper concern, a deeper sorrow: Shall I see them again?”

It reminded me of when my dad was going to have two different surgical procedures done at one time many years ago. Before he was going into surgery, he handed me his small leather-bound notebook that had some information in it. I was to hold onto it while he was in surgery and give it back to him when he left the hospital.

When he was in surgery, I opened the notebook. There was a note that my dad wrote that said something to the effect of how – if he didn’t make it out of surgery – that he wanted us to know how much he loved my mom, his kids, and grandkids. Like Mr. Wiesel, my dad wondered if he was going to make it out of surgery and wanted his family to know how much he loved them. As a side note, I re-read what my dad wrote many times while he was in surgery. It meant to me to know that his family was on the top of his mind at such a critical time.

Something I learned was written in the sixth chapter. Mr. Wiesel was asked to count to ten as the anesthesiologist began his work. He asked for a minute before he began counting because as “a practicing Jew, before giving up his soul, if he lacks the time to properly prepare himself, [he] must at least recite a short prayer – a kind of act of faith – a prayer he has known since childhood.”

I liked the advice he shared that was from a Talmudic sage: “It is incumbent on you to live as if you were to die the next day.” That’s such good advice, and worth hearing multiple times. How many times do we waste parts of our day, only to regret it later? It is much better to live intentionally and try to make the most out of each day rather than letting time slip away.

The author shared a bit about his novel The Forgotten which deals with Alzheimer’s Disease and the fear of forgetting. He wrote, “I compare the patient to a book whose pages are torn out day after day, one by one, until all that remains is the cover. I wonder whether this disease could strike an entire community. Or an entire era.”

I have never heart of the analogy of Alzheimer’s Disease to a book, but it is a quite fitting description. I always described the process of Alzheimer’s Disease that I was seeing in my father as one of a beautiful oak tree.

In its glory, the oak tree is strong, large, and has deep and wide-spread roots. It is anchored in the ground and its branches are so beautifully and widely outstretched. Gradually, a leaf falls off here and there. Before long, an entire branch may be revealed…its leaves having fallen gently to the ground – at times, imperceptible to those around it.

As time passes, more branches are revealed. Before long, the entire tree no longer has leaves. It is only a complicated framework…a tangle…of branches, large and small.

Eventually, branches begin to fall. Some small. Some large. And then only the trunk – the core of the tree – remains. It is still anchored into the ground – its foundation. Yet, it is only a shell…a fragment… of what was once there. That – to me – describes Alzheimer’s Disease and what I witnessed.

At any rate, Mr. Wiedel’s analogy to a book reminded me of the oak tree. Of my father. Of loss and grief. Of reflection. And, perhaps, that’s the point of this book. It is to make one reflect on one’s life – just like the author reflected on his life.

If that’s the goal, then Open Heart succeeded in doing that. For that, I am thankful that I read this book.



BILL HATFIELD – guy who helped us on Gunflint Lake.

3 Things I Discovered About My Personality…A Father’s Day Reflection

When the Summer Blog Challenge posed the question: “What are three things you are proud of about your personality?” I immediately thought of a file that I came across when going through my Dad’s office after he died earlier this year.

In the file, there were two reference letters that were sent to the adoption agency when going through the home study process to adopt Sophia and Olivia. One of the questions on the recommendation form (when adopting Sophia) asked what three descriptive words would describe me. Another asked to note my greatest strength and weakness.

It was interesting to see how my Dad described me – particularly since I don’t remember him ever saying these things to me directly. It’s especially meaningful now to have an idea how he saw me. For me, this truly a gift to find this paperwork.

Prior to adopting Sophia, my Dad used these three descriptive words about me:

- Organizer.
- Energy.
- Sensitive.

Sophia and I playing the gongs at the annual Dragon Festival.

We had a chance to play the gongs (part of the gamelan). 

As my greatest strength, he said that I was “…an energetic, creative worker.” (To balance this out, my greatest weakness, according to my Dad, was the “…possibility of overextending herself in work and tasks unless she exercises self-discipline.”)

When adopting Olivia, he said that as a parent to Sophia, I was “…enthusiastic, loving, proud, devoted, and caring. The little one has grown, sleeps well, is healthy, responds to everyone and has adjusted well.” He continued that I had expressed my “joy, thankfulness, pleasure, and satisfaction with the little one and what she brought” to all of our lives.

He felt that “good parenting skills, routines, discipline, and appropriate teaching and learning opportunities” were given to Sophia.

My Dad had to do another recommendation for Olivia’s home study, and had to answer the same questions. This time he said for the three descriptive words about me:

- Talented writer.
- Energy.
- Perceptive sensitivity.

Olivia, Montague, Gretel, and I at a state park on a walk

This was taken in June 2008.

He said my greatest strength was that I was “…a creative, organizational, talented individual, sensitive writer, and people person.” My greatest weakness was that I “…has sometimes taken on too much with work and programs and farm chores, but has recently taken steps to reduce and correct this.”

Sophia, Olivia, Dad, Mom, and me at the 

Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe in Wisconsin.

This was taken in July 2010.

On this first Father’s Day without my Dad I was given a wonderful gift by him: what he thought about me. It truly is a gift I will treasure and remember.

I am grateful for...

As I think back on the past week, I am grateful for...
:: the generous neighbor who brought over surplus produce - 3 crates of homegrown tomatoes, a bag of broccoli, a bag of beans, and a huge muskmelon.
:: being able to homeschool my daughters and enjoy the time with them as they grow up.
:: having a picnic with Sophia and Olivia (plus Eenie, the cat) under the willow tree.
:: the time to declutter and get rid of things that no longer are needed; and the empty space (more room) it leaves behind.
:: being able to watch the horses gallop through the pasture and "race" one another as Olivia and I cheered them on.

Handmade Pillowcase

Handmade Pillowcase
Originally uploaded by Pictures by Ann

Made a pillowcase set to enter in the county fair. Followed a pattern on ConnKerr cancer which was very easy.

After the county fair, the pillowcases will be donated to ConnKerr Cancer.

The heart/flower/handprint fabric was from a bedsheet. It was worn out in some areas, but perfectly fine in other areas. Used the good section of fabric to make the pillowcase body.

The purple fabric is fabric I've had on hand, but hadn't used yet. I thought it looked nice with the colorful print of the hearts/handprints/flowers.

For more information and/or to make a pillowcase for a child who has cancer and is at a hospital receiving treatment, please visit: www.conkerrcancer.org/

(This was also a wish of a person on Swap-Bot's Wishlist group - to donate a pillow for the 1 Million Pillowcases Challenge - more information is here: www.allpeoplequilt.com/millionpillowcases/faqs/ )

Finished Sensory and Memory Quilt (for my Dad's Christmas Gift)

Finished Quilt

Originally uploaded by Pictures by Ann

I made this quilt for my dad who has Alzheimer's Disease. It is a sensory and memory quilt.

The fabrics have different textures, and the pictures are ones that he picked out that are meaningful to him. The back is a very soft fleece.

Gave it to my father today (December 27th). Was a couple days late because of the big snowstorm. Anyway...he opened the box and looked at the quilt, and immediately started recalling memories and sharing stories about some of the pictures.

He cried when he looked at other pictures. "I've had a good life," he said.

There are more details about the quilt at my Flickr site here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/picturesbyann/4207842423/

Two Lilies

Two Lilies
Originally uploaded by Pictures by Ann

Sometimes it's just the little things that can make one's day. After the girls and I went to the Minnesota Orchestra, I took them to the Como Conservatory in St. Paul, Minnesota.

The lilies were at the Como Conservatory in the sunken garden display. The whole room smelled beautiful, and was such a mood lifter.

The girls literally would stop and smell the flowers. "This one smells pretty, Mom!"

Taking some time to smell the flowers...to relax...to enjoy the moment. These are all things I need to do - especially as a parent and caregiver.

The visit to the Como Conservatory was a good reminder of that.

Father's Day

One of the gifts my father gave me early on was the encouragement to try new things...and to ask for help when I needed it.

He raised bees when he was a child and teenager; and then went back to beekeeping as an adult.

Once I moved to the farm, he gave me his beekeeping equipment, hoping to pass along the hobby.

I tried it under the guidance of a beekeeper for a year. After getting repeatedly stung in my knee and watching it swell to an unnatural size...I realized that, perhaps, beekeeping is best left to people who REALLY know what they're doing.

After a hiatus from having bees, they have returned to the farm now and are being managed by a professional beekeeper. He knows what he's doing. He does this in exchange for having about 4 or 5 hives on the back part of the property. We get the honey when the season is done (from our hive).

So, the girls and I walked out the other day and looked at the hive (from a distance). The bees were busy flying in and out of the hive. They're busy and work...and it is fun to have bees again at the farm.

In the fall, hopefully the girls will have the opportunity to see the harvesting and processing stages...then they'll see the full circle (or cycle) of beekeeping.

I'm grateful that my dad gave me his equipment...and the encouragement to try new activities and develop new skills. Even though I'm not able to the beekeeping by myself...I have tried many things - new things - in the past year. I can thank my dad for being a great role model and inspiration as I challenge myself in new ways during the next year.