A Short Guide to a Happy Life - Book Notes

On my GoodReads list, I have A Short Guide to a Happy Life by Anna Quindlen as a book I wanted to read. This week I read it. It is, indeed, a short book - only 50 pages with a good percentage of them full-page black-and-white photos. 

Despite its short length, there was a lot of good information in it. Some highlights include:

- No man ever said on his deathbed I wish I had spent more time at the office.

- John Lennon said,, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

- You are the only person alive who has sole custody of your life...your soul.

- I am a good mother to three good children. I have tried never to let my profession stand in the way of being a good parent. I no longer consider myself the center of the universe. I show up. I listen. I try to laugh.

- Turn off your cell phone. Turn off your regular phone, for that matter. Keep still. Be present.

- Get a life in which you are not alone. Find people you love, and who love you.

- Get a life in which you are generous. 

- Life is glorious, and that you have no business taking it for granted. 

- All of us want to do well. But if we do not do good, too, then doing well will never be enough.

- It is easy to waste our lives: our days, our hours, our minutes. 

- It is so easy to exist instead of live. 

- It's ironic that we forget so often how wonderful life really is. We have more time than ever before to remember it. The men and women of generations past had to work long, long hours to support lots and lots of children in tiny, tiny houses. The women worked in factories and sweatshops and then at home, too, with two bosses, the one who paid them, and the one they were married to, who didn't.

- Those of us who are second and third and fourth generation (immigrants) are surrounded by nice cars, family rooms, patios, pools - the things our grandparents thought only rich people had. Yet somehow, instead of rejoicing, we've found the glass half empty. Our jobs take too much out of us and don't pay enough....Let's be honest. We have an embarrassment of riches. Life is good.

- I learned to love the journey, not the destination. I learned that this is not a dress rehearsal, and that today is the only guarantee you get. 

- Think of life as a terminal illness, because, if you do, you will live it with joy and passion, as it ought to be lived. 

- School never ends. The classroom is everywhere. The exam comes at the very end. 

End of the Year Questions - Reflecting on 2021

These questions are from a swap on Swapbot that look back on 2021: 

1. If 2021 were a movie, what was the title, and what happened? The first thing that comes to mind is "Where Did the Time Go?" 

Even though the past year was packed with lots of activities, milestone birthdays, and challenges (like doing the 75Hard challenge and drastically changing the way I ate, exercised, and approached life), it went by so quickly. It seems like each year there never is enough time to get everything done that I want to accomplish. 

2. What worked well in 2021, and for what are you grateful? For the first 75 days of the year, I was using a habit tracker and doing the 75Hard challenge. I was eating well, exercising 90 minutes a day, reading at least 10 pages, journaling, and doing other activities that I wanted to do. 

I really liked the program and ended up continuing a modified version of it until about October. Then, I started getting side-tracked with the holidays and they took priority. 

I am very grateful I did the program because it showed me that if I set my mind to something difficult, I can do it. It is a matter of setting small, achievable steps to reach the major goal. 

3. What was challenging or disappointing about 2021? We had multiple major problems with our only car. This was a huge setback financially which was disappointing. 

We also struggled with Hoss's hooves from February through September, and worked with our vet and farrier to find a solution. They (and we) tried everything. In September, we made the difficult decision to give Hoss and Bailey (who were now a bonded pair) back to the Minnesota Hooved Animal Rescue Foundation. They ended up being able to discover the problem (an abscess in one hoof) that, thankfully, was caught in time. Olivia was very observant and - had she not been - things could have been a lot worse for him (either long-term issues or euthanasia). 

The good news is that both Hoss and Bailey were adopted within a month of going back to MHARF. Although they are in different homes, Hoss has a miniature companion and goats at his new farm and Bailey is at a stable with 15 other horses, and she is used for giving lessons. So, she's getting lots of attention.  

4. What were your most meaningful moments this past year? At the end of the year - from December 23rd to January 4th - we quarantined at the request of Sophia's study abroad program. In order to board her international flights, she needed a negative COVID test. So, we didn't want to risk it given the appearance and easy transmission of the omicron variant. 

Although we were sad that we couldn't do things we normally did - like go to Christmas Eve service, spend time with extended family on Christmas, go out to do special things for Sophia's 21st birthday, and go out to a Chinese restaurant on New Year's Day - we celebrated these occasions at home together as a family. 

We started some new traditions (like playing Risk together as a family over multiple days after Christmas and into the New Year), watched movies together, and made food together. We worked on projects that we hadn't had a chance to do because we were always out and about...rather than at home. 

5. Where did you spend a lot of time and energy? Although I felt like I was driving a lot to take Olivia to the homeschool co-op twice a week and to speech therapy, I did spend a lot of time and energy at home which I enjoyed. 

I enjoyed watching Olivia paint many barn quilts during the summer for clients. She was earning a lot of money that she has set aside for college.

6. What did you learn this last year? I learned how to take better photos and use my camera in ways I didn't know how to use it. 

I took a photography course at North House Folk School with Layne Kennedy, a very talented photographer. Olivia and I enjoyed photographing waterfalls.

We also explored places on our own - like High Falls at Grand Portage State Park. This park is adjacent to Canada, although - at the time - we couldn't go into Canada because the border was closed due to the pandemic.

The photography course challenged me to look at taking pictures different than I normally would do, and learn to tell a story about the places we visited.

7. Looking back on 2021, on a scale of 1-10, how happy were you overall, with 1 being depressed and 10 being happy and content? I think about a 7 or 8 in terms of being happy and content. 

8. As you look to 2022, what will be the highest use of your talents? As I think about different skills and talents during the upcoming year, I would like to use my:

- research skills to help find scholarship opportunities for Olivia, 

- writing skills to write a book for Olivia to give to her as she starts college, 

- organizational skills to keep everything in order as Olivia finishes high school and Sophia studies abroad, 

- decluttering skills as I get rid of things we no longer want or need in our home, barn, and garage, 

- organizational skills as we plan for a trip to England and Scotland for Olivia's graduation trip,

- gardening skills to make the farm look nice for Olivia's graduation party, and 

- communication skills to help me talk with potential employers as I search for a job later in the year. 

9. What will success look like in 2022? If I am able to accomplish all the things I mentioned in #8, I would feel like 2022 is successful: 

- help Olivia secure scholarships, 

- write a book for Olivia, 

- see Olivia complete high school after being homeschooled since Kindergarten, 

- hear that Sophia had a successful trip in Thailand, 

- get rid of a dumpster of things from the home/yard/barn (so a thorough deep clean and decluttering), 

- have a great family trip overseas, 

- complete the gardens so they look full and colorful, and 

- secure a meaningful job. 

10. If you select a "word of the year" - share what it is for 2022, and why you chose it. I'm not sure what word I pick. I go between four words: Trust, Acceptance, Embrace, and Change. 

I'm thinking Change might be it because there is inevitable change that comes with aging, seeing the girls get older and move to the next stage of their lives, and change in relationships. 

Then there's change that I initiate that can be positive - like saving over $70 per month by changing garbage collection companies and changing phone companies so we get faster and more reliable internet while saving ourselves money. 

2022 will be filled with many changes. I just need to trust, accept, and embrace them - whether I am ready for them or not. 

Atomic Habits (Book Notes)

Earlier this year, I did the 75Hard Challenge. One of the books that many of the people who do the challenge have read and recommend is Atomic Habits - An Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones by James Clear. 

Many of the concepts about habit tracking and focusing on several key smaller habits is something that 75Hard focuses on. So, this book was a reinforcement about what I've been doing already this year. However, what was new was the concept of habit stacking which I've never heard before. It sounds like it would be something beneficial to try. 

Below are notes from the book that I found interesting:

- Habits are the compound interest of self-improvement. Getting 1 percent better every day counts for a lot in the long run.

- Small changes often appear to make no difference until you cross a critical threshold. The most powerful outcomes of any compounding process are delayed. You need to be patient.

- An atomic habit is a little habit that is part of a larger system. Atomic habits are the building blocks of remarkable results.

- Goals are good for setting a direction, but systems are best for making process. 

- The most effective way to change your habits is to focus not on what you want to achieve, but on who you wish to become.

- Your identity emerges out of your habits. Every action is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.

- Do a habits scorecard to rate your habits. Use a plus sign for positive habits, a minus sign for negative habits, and an equal sign for neutral habits. See atomichabits.com/scorecard

- To set habits, use this formula: I will [BEHAVIOR] at [TIME] in [LOCATION]. 

- Habit stacking is a strategy you can use to pair a new habit with a current habit. The habit stacking formula is: After [CURRENT HABIT], I will [NEW HABIT]. 

- Redesign your environment and make the cues for your preferred habits more obvious. For example, if you want to practice guitar more frequently, place your guitar stand in the middle of the living room. If you want to send more thank you notes, keep a stack of stationery on your desk. 

- Do you want to think more creatively? Move to a bigger room or take a break from the space where you do your daily work, which is also linked to your current thought patterns.

- Cut bad habits off at the source by reducing exposure to the cue that causes it. If you can't get any work done, leave your phone in another room for a few hours. If you're continually feeling like you're not enough, stop following social media accounts that trigger jealousy and envy. 

- Make a habit attractive. Do this by following this formula:

1. After [CURRENT HABIT], I will [HABIT I NEED].

2 After [HABIT I NEED], I will [HABIT I WANT].

If you want to check Facebook, but you need to exercise more:

1. After I pull out my phone, I will do ten burpees (need).

2. After I do ten burpees, I will check Facebook (want). 

- 40-50% of our actions on any given day are done out of habit.

- When you start a new habit, it should take less than 2 minutes to do. Nearly any habit can be scaled dow into a two-minute version:

- "Read before bed each night" becomes "Read one page."

- "Fold the laundry" becomes "Fold one pair of socks."

- Once you do the "gateway habit" that leads you down a more productive path. The point is to show up and start doing the habit.

- Phases of habit shaping for becoming vegan: start eating vegetables at each meal; stop eating animals with four legs (cow, pig, lamb, etc.). Stop eating animals with two legs (chicken, turkey, etc.). Stop eating animals with no legs (fish, clams, scallops, etc.). Stop eating all animal products (eggs, milk, cheese).

- Onetime actions that lock in good habits:

- Nutrition: buy a water filter to clean your drinking water. Use smaller plates to reduce caloric intake.

- Sleep: buy a good mattress. Get blackout curtains. Remove your television from your bedroom.

- Productivity: unsubscribe from emails. Turn off notifications and mute group chats. Set your phone to silent. Delete social media apps on your phone.

- Happiness: get a dog.

- General health: get vaccinated. Buy good shoes to avoid back pain.

- Finance: enroll in an automatic savings plan. Set up automatic bill pay. 

- Do habit tracking. Whenever possible, measurement should be automated (e.g., credit card statements, Fitbit, calendar). Manual tracking should be limited to your most important habit. It is better to consistently track one habit than to sporadically track ten. Record each measurement immediately after the habit occurs.

- Never miss a habit twice. The first mistake is never the one that ruins you. It is the spiral of repeated mistakes that follows. 

20 Quotes (Swap-bot)

There's a swap on Swap-bot that intrigued me in which 20 words were given and the challenge was to find quotes, lyrics, sayings, or titles that included those words. I chose to focus on quotes. I've included photos that I've taken or that were taken of me throughout the years that tie into the quotes.

Dog 

“Dogs come into our lives to teach us about love, they depart to teach us about loss. A new dog never replaces an old dog. It merely expands the heart.”―Author Unknown

Baseball 

“Every day is a new opportunity. You can build on yesterday’s success or put its failures behind and start over again. That’s the way life is, with a new game every day, and that’s the way baseball is.” – Bob Feller

Love 

“A life lived in love will never be dull.” – Leo Buscaglia

Man 

“You educate a man; you educate a man. You educate a woman; you educate a generation.”
― Brigham Young

Holiday 

“A holiday is an opportunity to journey within.” —Prabhas

Mountain 

“Everybody wants to reach the peak, but there is no growth on the top of a mountain. It is in the valley that we slog through, the lush grass and rich soil, learning and becoming what enables us to summit life’s next peak.” – Andy Andrews

Remember 

"Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn." - Benjamin Franklin

Race 

"No human race is superior; no religious faith is inferior. All collective judgments are wrong. Only racists make them." - Elie Wiesel

Horse 

​”Through the days of love and celebration and joy, and through the dark days of mourning – the faithful horse has been with us always.” ​- Elizabeth Cotton

Hospital 

“Still, when you work in a hospital, the papers you file aren't just papers: they are fragments of narratives filled with risks and triumphs.” ― Paul Kalanithi, When Breath Becomes Air

Music 

“If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music.” ― Albert Einstein

Night 

“The moon will guide you through the night with her brightness, but she will always dwell in the darkness, in order to be seen.” ― Shannon L. Alder

Drama 

“If only people put as much energy into helping people as they do into creating drama.” ― Akiroq Brost

Beach

"Every time I stand before a beautiful beach, its waves seem to whisper to me: If you choose the simple things and find joy in nature’s simple treasures, life and living need not be so hard.” – Psyche Roxas-Mendoza

Eyes 

"Your eyes show the strength of your soul." Paulo Coelho.

Sad 

"Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad." Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Fell 

"If you fell down yesterday, stand up today." - H. G. Wells

Drive 

“Passion and drive are not the same at all. Passion pulls you toward something you cannot resist. Drive pushes you toward something you feel compelled or obligated to do. If you know nothing about yourself, you can't tell the difference. Once you gain a modicum of self-knowledge, you can express your passion.....It's not about jumping through someone else's hoops. That's drive.” ― Randy Komisar, The Monk and the Riddle: The Education of a Silicon Valley Entrepreneur

Home 

"The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place we can go as we are and not be questioned." - Maya Angelou

Funny

"There's only one true superpower amongst human beings, and that is being funny. People treat you differently if you can make them laugh." - Jeff Garlin

Year of Yes - Book Notes

 Last month I read Year of Yes - How to Dance It Out, Stand in the Sun, and Be Your Own Person by Shonda Rhimes. I've enjoyed watching some of the t.v. shows she has written, like Grey's Anatomy and Scandal. 

Despite being very successful, she is an introvert and was saying no to a lot of great opportunities. Basically, there was nothing new to fear. On Thanksgiving 2013, her sister muttered: "You never say yes to anything." It was a wake-up call and then a challenge for Shonda to change her life. She made a commitment to say "Yes" for a year.

There were quite a few things that resonated with me or that I found interesting:

- "If you want crappy things to stop happening to you, then stop accepting crap and demand something more." (Cristina Yang, Grey's Anatomy)

- Time is simply not my friend. My memory is every-so-slowly being replaced by blank spaces. The details of my life are disappearing. The paintings are being stolen off the walls of my brain. 

- Dreams are lovely. But they are just dreams. Fleeting, ephemeral. Pretty. But dreams do not come true just because you dream them. It's hard work that makes things happen. It's hard work that creates change. 

- Ditch the dream. Be a doer, not a dreamer.

- You just have to keep moving forward. You just have to keep doing something, seizing the next opportunity, staying open to trying something new. 

- Find a cause you love. IT's okay to just pick one...and devote some time every week to it. 

- A hashtag does not make you Dr. King. A hashtag does not change anything. It's a hashtag. It's you, sitting on your butt, typing into your computer and then going back to binge-watching your favorite show.

- Volunteer some hours. Focus on something outside yourself.

- Whenever you see me somewhere succeeding in one area of my life, that almost certainly means that I am failing in another area of my life. Something is always lost. Something is always missing.

- Be brave. Be amazing. Be worthy. And every single time you get the chance? Stand up in front of people. Let them see you. Speak. Be heard.

- You can quit a job. I can't quit being a mother. I'm a mother forever. Mothers are never off the clock, mothers are never on vacation. Being a mother redefines us, reinvents us, destroys and rebuilds us. 

- This Yes is about giving yourself the permission to shift the focus of what is a priority from what's good for you over to what makes you feel good.

- In order to do your job well, you need to take care of yourself - inside and out. 

- (Looking at a reflection in the mirror when she was very overweight:) "Who is that?" It actually takes a few seconds for my brain to catch up. for me to realize, with shock, that I am looking at my own reflection. That stranger is me. I don't FEEL good. My knees hurt. My joints hurt. I discover that the reason I am so exhausted all the time is because  I have sleep apnea. I am now on high blood pressure medication.

- Losing yourself does not happen all at once. Losing yourself happens one no at at a time. No to going out tonight. No to catching up with that old college roommate. No to attending that party. No to going on a vacation. No to making a new friend. Losing yourself happens one pound at a time. 

- I felt...old.  "Stop participating in the world" old. "Sit in a chair and watch the world go by" old.

- It's happened so gradually. I am invisible to myself. I think I am maybe invisible to everyone. 

- What do I Say Yes to in order to get healthy?

- I have been saying yes to fatness. Being fat has been easier for me. It has worked for me. 

- I can say yes, I want to be successful at this. I want to be healthy. I want to live a long life for myself and for my children. I want to feel good.

- The only obstacle to your success is your own imagination.

- Men take a compliment and run. They don't make themselves smaller. They don't apologize for being powerful. They don't downplay their accomplishments.

- We are like mirrors. What you are gets reflected back to you. 

- People like being around whole, healthy, happy people.

- The very act of saying yes is not just life-changing, it is lifesaving.

- The years and years of saying no were, for me, a quiet way to let go. A silent means of giving up. An easy withdrawal from the world, from light, from life. Saying no was a way to disappear. Saying no was my own slow form of suicide. 

- No is a complete sentence. You don't owe anyone an explanation.

- When someone says something petty or nasty, one of those little passive-aggressive things that would usually just pick at me for days, my new response is..."What did you mean by that?" said in a calm voice. It startles them. 

- "You must do the things you think you cannot do." (Eleanor Roosevelt)

Make Today Count - Book Notes

 John Mawell wrote the book Make Today Count which looks at how the secret of a person's success is determined by one's daily agenda. 

Essentially you are preparing for something; and the way you live your life today is preparing you for tomorrow. The idea is that you can play and take it easy and do what you want today, but if you do, your life will be harder later. However, if you work hard now, on the front end, then you will reap rewards in the future.

This short book - only 136 pages - is packed with lots of good advice. He focuses on 12 key areas or what he calls the "Daily Dozen": attitude, priorities, health, family, thinking, commitment, finances, faith, relationships, generosity, values, and growth. There are two ingredients necessary to make every day a masterpiece: decisions and discipline. 

Determine what 12 decisions are important to you. Start with this list of 12 and modify it according to your own life. Then begin working on the decisions. Every month, decide which decision you will make and how you will manage it. In a year's time, you'll be amazed by how focused your life is and how it is going in the direction you desire. 

Some of what I found especially interesting in the book follows:

ATTITUDE

- My attitude makes an impact on the people around me. I am going to keep a positive attitude and use it to influence others. 

- One of the secrets of maintaining a good attitude is valuing people. 

- Encouraging others means helping people, looking for the best in them, and trying to bring out their positive qualities. 

- When Mother Teresa was asked the requirements for people assisting her work with the destitute in Calcutta, she cited two things: the desire to work hard and a joyful attitude.

- Have an ally to help you remain positive.

- Include positive comments in every conversation with others. 

- Sincerely compliment, praise, acknowledge, bolster, raise up, and reward people whenever I can. 

- Remove negative words from your vocabulary.

- Express gratitude to others daily.

Your attitude decision today: Where do you stand when it comes to your attitude today? Ask yourself:

- Have I already made the decision to choose and display the right attitude daily?

- If so, when did I make that decision?

- What exactly did I decide?

Your attitude discipline every day: What is the one discipline you must practice today and every day in order to be successful?

PRIORITIES

- I will prioritize my life and give focus and energy to those things that give the highest return. 

- "Time is the most valuable coin in your life. YOu and you alone will determine how that coin will be spent. Be careful that you do not let other people spend it for you." (Carl Sandburg)

- Your greatest possession is the 24 hours you have directly ahead of you. How will you spend it? Will you give in to pressure or focus on priorities? Will you allow pointless emails, unimportant tasks, telemarketers, interruptions, and other distractions to consume your day? Or will you take complete responsibility for how you spend your time, take control of the things you can, and make today yours? If you don't decide how your day will be spent, someone else will.

- What is required of me? What gives me the greatest return? What gives me the greatest reward? 

- Plan your time carefully.

- "Things that matter most must never be at the mercy of things that matter least." (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)

Your priorities decision today: Where do you stand when it comes to priorities today? Ask yourself:

- Have I already made the decision to determine and act on important priorities daily?

- If so, when did I make that decision?

- What exactly did I decide?

Your priorities discipline every day: What is the one discipline you must practice today and every day in order to be successful?

HEALTH

- Two major frustrations contribute to stress at work: doing work you don't think is important. If you do work that you believe adds no value to yourself or to others, you quickly become demoralized. To remain healthy, your work must be in alignment with your values. The other reason that some people don't like their work is that their jobs keep them in an area of weakness. Nobody can do that long and succeed. 

- Strike a balance between your desire to maintain a healthy pace of life and your drive to accomplish all you can during your lifetime.

- "An individual's self-concept affects every aspect of human behavior. The ability to learn, the capacity to grow and change, the choice of friends, mates, and careers. A strong positive self-image is the best possible preparation for success in life." (Joyce Brothers)

- 85% of all heart patients quit their healthy regimen within six months. 

Your health decision today: Where do you stand when it comes to health today? Ask yourself:

- Have I already made the decision to know and follow healthy guidelines daily?

- If so, when did I make that decision?

- What exactly did I decide?

Your health discipline every day: What is the one discipline you must practice today and every day in order to be successful?

FAMILY

- Anyone who neglects or abandons his family for fame, status, or financial gain isn't really successful.

- As a family, cultivate and maintain:

- A commitment to faith or spirituality.

 - Continual growth- reach your personal potential and help your children to do the same.

- Common experiences - create as many positive experiences as you can.

- Confidence - in your faith, yourselves, and others.

- Contributions to life - leave the world a better place than they found it. Add value not only to the people in your family, but also to every other life you touch.

- Write down all the Christmas and birthday gifts you received when you were a kid up until you moved away from home. How many are you able to remember? Now, list all the vacations you took with your family during those same years. Most people can remember only a few gifts they received. However, they can remember more vacations they took as a family. What makes families happy isn't receiving things. It's doing things together. 

- Establish family traditions. Traditions give your family a shared history and a strong sense of identity. The traditions your family kept helped you define who you were and who your family was. 

- "In every person from the cradle to the grave, there is a deep craving to be appreciated." (William James, Psychologist)

Your family decision today: Where do you stand when it comes to family today? Ask yourself:

- Have I already made the decision to communicate with and care for my family?

- If so, when did I make that decision?

- What exactly did I decide?

Your family discipline every day: What is the one discipline you must practice today and every day in order to be successful?

THINKING

- Read The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale and As a Man Thinketh by James Allen. 

- "All that a man achieves or fails to achieve is the direct result of his thoughts." (James Allen)

- If you're good at creative thinking, invest more time in that. To handle areas where you are not as strong, surround people around you who are strong in those areas. 

- Find a thinking place - like being in nature. 

- Find the right time to think - when you are most alert (e.g., mornings).

- Write down your ideas. In your thinking spot, use a legal pad. For the rest of the day, a small notebook is enough.

- Intentional thinking is not commonplace. 

Your thinking decision today: Where do you stand when it comes to thinking today? Ask yourself:

- Have I already made the decision to practice and develop good thinking today?

- If so, when did I make that decision?

- What exactly did I decide?

Your thinking discipline every day: What is the one discipline you must practice today and every day in order to be successful?

 COMMITMENT

- If something is worth doing, I will commit myself to carrying it through.

- "People forget how fast you did a job - but they remember how well you did it." (Howard Newton)

- When you accomplish something that you once believed was impossible, it makes you a new person.

- If you want something out of your day, you must put something in it. Your talent is what you had before you were born. Your skills are what you put in yesterday. Commitment is what you must put in today in order to make today your masterpiece and make tomorrow a success.

- By focusing on your choices and then making them with integrity, you control your commitment. And that is what often separates success from failure. 

- If you refuse to give in to excuses, no matter how good they may sound or how good they will make you feel in the moment, you have the potential to go far. 

Your commitment decision today: Where do you stand when it comes to commitment today? Ask yourself:

- Have I already made the decision to make and keep proper commitments daily?

- If so, when did I make that decision?

- What exactly did I decide?

Your commitment discipline every day: What is the one discipline you must practice today and every day in order to be successful?

FINANCES

- We will sacrifice today so that we can have options tomorrow. 

- 10% to church/charity, 10% to investments, and 80% to living expenses

- People tend to value money and things over what's really important in life: other people.

- Seasons in life:

- Learn - Learning is the primary objective and that you shouldn't take shortcuts to financial gain and miss the big picture of your life.

- Earn - During your 30s, 40s, and 50s. Strive to take care of your family and prepare for your future. 

- Return - If you've worked hard and planned well, you may enter a phase of life that is most rewarding, where you can focus on giving back to others. 

- If you're older and you didn't lay a good foundation for yourself, don't despair. Keep learning and growing. You still have a chance to finish well. But if you give up, you'll never go up. 

- "Every person in debt is suffering from some type of depression. Debt is one of the leading causes of divorce, lack of sleep, and poor work performance. It robs them of their self-worth and keeps them from achieving dreams." (Michael Kidwell)

- The difference between the rich and the poor is that the rich invest their money and spend what's left while the poor spend their money and invest what's left. 

- Failing to plan is like planning to fail.

- Every day I will focus on my financial game plan so that each day I will have more, not fewer, options.

Your financial decision today: Where do you stand when it comes to finances today? Ask yourself:

- Have I already made the decision to earn and properly manage my finances daily?

- If so, when did I make that decision?

- What exactly did I decide?

Your financial discipline every day: What is the one discipline you must practice today and every day in order to be successful?

FAITH

- Read the Maxwell Leadership Bible.

- Faith gives you peace and strength only if it's not superficial. The deeper the faith, the greater its potential to carry you through the rough times. 

- Every day live and lead like Jesus.

- You become more like the people you spend time with.  

Your faith decision today: Where do you stand when it comes to faith today? Ask yourself:

- Have I already made the decision to deepen and live out my faith daily?

- If so, when did I make that decision?

- What exactly did I decide?

Your faith discipline every day: What is the one discipline you must practice today and every day in order to be successful?

RELATIONSHIPS

- If you have one true friend in life, you are very fortunate. If you have two real friends, it is highly unusual.

- In order to make friends, you must first be friendly.

- People are insecure...give them confience. People want to feel special...sincerely compliment them. People desire a better tomorrow...show them hope. People need to be understood...listen to them. People are selfish...speak to their needs first. People get emotionally low...encourage them. People want to be associated with success...help them win. 

- People who disrespect others always hurt themselves relationally - and they often reap other negative consequences.

- Every human being deserves to be treated with respect because everyone has value.

- If you respect yourself, respect others, and exhibit competence, others will almost always give you respect. 

- From Leo Buscaglia: "Always start a relationship by asking: Do I have ulterior motives for wanting to relate to this person? Is my caring conditional? Am I trying to escape something? Am I planning to change the person? Do I need this person to help me make up for a deficiency in myself? If your answer to any of these questions is "yes," leave the person alone. He or she is better off without you." 

- Good relationships require a lot of effort. 

- Have I been thoughtful toward people today? Would they express joy that they have spent time with me? If the answer is yes, then you've done your part.

- Show people they matter: walk slowly through a crowd, remember people's names, smile at everyone, and be quick to offer help. People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.

- Most people give away their relational energy on a first-come, first-served basis. Whoever gets their attention first gobbles up their time and relational energy.

- Your family provides the most valuable relationships in your life. They should come first as you plan to spend your time. After that should come your next most important relationships. It's a matter of practicing good priorities. 

- "Life is an exciting business and most exciting when lived for others." (Helen Keller)

- Adding value to others is the greatest thing we can do in this life. Because of that, when I serve, I try to do so cheerfully and with the greatest impact. 

Your relationship decision today: Where do you stand when it comes to relationships today? Ask yourself:

- Have I already made the decision to initiate and invest in solid relationships daily?

- If so, when did I make that decision?

- What exactly did I decide?

Your relationship discipline every day: What is the one discipline you must practice today and every day in order to be successful?

GENEROSITY

- Greatness is not defined by what a person receives, but by what that person gives. 

- True generosity is about serving others and looking for ways to add value to them. That's the way to achieve significance in your life.

- "The purpose of life is not to win. The purpose of life is to grow and to share." (Rabbi Harold Kushner)

- A person's level of income and desire to give have nothing to do with each other. Some of the most generous people have nothing materially.

- 80% of Americans who earn at least $1 million a year leave nothing to charity in their wills.

- Go out of your way to find reasons to give.

- "Do all the good you can, to all the people you can, in all the ways you can, as long as you can. " (D.L. Moody)

- What are you doing for others? 

Your generosity decision today: Where do you stand when it comes to generosity today? Ask yourself:

- Have I already made the decision to plan for and model generosity daily?

- If so, when did I make that decision?

- What exactly did I decide?

Your generosity discipline every day: What is the one discipline you must practice today and every day in order to be successful?

VALUES

- Write down every admirable character quality you can think of. Narrow it down to 25-50 values. Eliminate anything that's superficial or temporary. 

- "Try not to become men of success. Rather, become men of value." (Albert Einstein)

- Having values keeps a person focused on the important things. That leads to a better quality of life, a life of integrity. 

- A person who identifies and articulates his values but doesn't practice them is like a salesman who makes promises to a customer and then fails to deliver. He has no credibility.

- If you talk your values but neglect to walk them, then you will continually undermine your integrity and credibility.

- Ben Franklin used to get up in the morning asking himself, "What good will I do today?" When he went to bed, he asked himself, "What good did I do today?"

- At the end of the day, reflect on whether you added value to anyone's life during the day.

Your values decision today: Where do you stand when it comes to values today? Ask yourself:

- Have I already made the decision to embrace and practice good values daily?

- If so, when did I make that decision?

- What exactly did I decide?

Your values discipline every day: What is the one discipline you must practice today and every day in order to be successful?

GROWTH

- Develop and follow a personal growth plan for your life. 

- The greatest handicap a person has is not realizing his potential. What dreams do you have that are just waiting to be fulfilled? What gifts and talents are inside you that are dying to be drawn out and developed? 

- To make something of yourself, you need to be willing to change, for without change, there can be no growth. 

- Focus on growing in your areas of greatest strength, not your weaknesses. And grow in areas that will add value to you personally and professionally.

- If people live in a harsh and limiting environment, they stay small. But put them someplace that encourages growth, and they will expand to reach their potential. 

- "If a person will spend one hour a day on the same subject for five years, that person will be an expert on that subject." (Earl Nightingale)

- Listen to audio lessons every week. (Listen to ones about creativity and leadership.)

- Read two books every month.

- Set an appointment with someone who can help you grow each month. 

Your growth decision today: Where do you stand when it comes to growth today? Ask yourself:

- Have I already made the decision to seek and experience improvements daily?

- If so, when did I make that decision?

- What exactly did I decide?

Your growth discipline every day: What is the one discipline you must practice today and every day in order to be successful?

The Compound Effect - Book Notes

 From January through mid-March, I did a health challenge called 75Hard. One of the habits that had to be done daily was to read 10 pages of a self-improvement book. A book that was highly recommended on the 75Hard Facebook group for women was The Compound Effect - Jumpstart Your Income, Your Life, Your Success by Darren Hardy. 

I'm glad I found out about this book. There are a lot of helpful ideas for habit-building that I wish I would have known when I was younger. Nonetheless, there are habits and ideas worth doing today that were presented in the book. Below are some highlights:

- Little, everyday decisions will either take you to the life you desire or to disaster by default.

- From what to eat and where to work, to the people you spend your time with, to how you spend your afternoon, every choice shapes how you live today, but more important, how you live the rest of your life.

- The Compound Effect is the principle of reaping huge rewards from a series of small, smart choices completed consistently over time.

- Your grandparents worked six days a week, from sunup to sundown, using the skills they learned in their youth and repeatedly throughout their entire life. They knew the secret was hard work, discipline, and good habits.

- Every decision, no matter how slight, alters the trajectory of your life - whether or not to go to college, whom to marry, to have that last drink before your drive, to indulge in gossip or stay silent, to say I love you or not. 

- Your biggest challenge is that you've been sleepwalking through your choices.

- Keep a Thanksgiving journal for your spouse or a loved one. Every day for an entire year, log at least one thing you appreciate about him/her. It forces you to focus on that person's positive aspects. You will be consciously looking for all the things the person does "right." 

-  Pick an area of your life where you most want to be successful (e.g., more money in the bank, a trimmer waistline, better relationship with your spouse or kids). Picture where you are in that area, right now. Now picture where you want to be: richer, thinner, happier, you name it. 

Source

- Track every action that relates to the area of your life you want to improve. If you want to get out of debt, track every penny you pull from your pocket. If you want to lose weight, track your food. 

- Track down every cent you spend for 30 days. 

- Track one habit for one week. Then three weeks. 

- Every dollar you spend today, no matter where you spend it, is costing you nearly five dollars in only 20 years (and ten dollars in 30 years)?

- Every time you spend a dollar today, it's like taking five dollars out of your future pocket.

- Save $250 per month in an IRA starting at 23 years old. By the time you're 40 years old, there would be no need to invest anymore. By the time you are 67 years old, there will be more than $1 million in that account, growing at 8% interest compounded monthly.

- The story of most people's lives is that they're riding the horse of their habits, with no idea where they're headed. It's time to take control of the reins and move your life in the direction of where you really want to go.

Source

- What is your why? You've got to have a reason if you want to make significant improvements to your life. 

- I have seen business moguls achieve their ultimate goals, but still live in frustration, worry, and fear. What's preventing these successful people from being happy? The answer is they have focused only on achievement and not fulfillment. Extraordinary accomplishment does not guarantee extraordinary joy, happiness, love, and a sense of meaning.

- When your actions conflict with your values, you'll end up unhappy, frustrated, and despondent.

- If you are not making the progress that you would like to make and are capable of making, it is simply because your goals are not clearly defined.

- Clean your home. If you're trying to curb your spending, take an evening and cancel every catalog or retail offer that comes in the mail or your inbox. If you want to eat healthy, stop buying junk food. Make sure your refrigerator and pantry are stocked with healthy options.

- How can you alter your bad habits so that they're not as harmful? Can you replace them with healthier habits or drop-kick them altogether? 

- About every 3 months, pick one vice and abstain for 30 days. If you find it seriously difficult to abstain for those 30 days, you may have found a habit worth cutting out of your life.

- Find rewards to give yourself every month, every week, every day - a walk, relax in the bath, or read something just for fun. 

- Every Saturday is FD (Family Day) which means NO working. Sundown on Friday night until sunup on Sunday morning is time devoted to marriage and family. If you don't create these boundaries, one day has a tendency to flow into the next. Unfortunately, the people who get shoved aside are often the most important. 

- Once a month try to do something that creates an experience that has some memorable intensity. Drive up to the mountains, go on an adventurous hike, try a new fancy restaurant, go sailing on a lake. Something out of the ordinary that has a heightened experience and creates an indelible memory. 

- Everyone is affected by 3 kinds of influences: input (what you feed your mind), associations (the people with whom you spend time), and environment (your surroundings).

- We can protect and feed our mind. We can be disciplined and proactive about what we allow in.

- How to feed your mind? Listen to positive, inspirational, and supportive input and ideas. Stories of aspiration, people who (despite challenges) are overcoming obstacles and achieving great things. Strategies of success, prosperity, health, love, and joy. Ideas to create more abundance, to grow, expand, and become more. Examples and stories of what's good, right, and possible in the world. 

- Listen to instructional and inspirational CDs when driving. 

- We become the combined average of the five people we hang around the most. The people with whom we spend our time determine what conversations dominate our attention and to which attitudes and opinions we are regularly exposed. Eventually, we start to eat what they eat, talk like they talk, read what they read, think like they think, watch what they watch, treat people how they treat them, even dress like they dress. 

- What is the combined average income, health, or attitudes of the five people you spend most of your time with?

- Jot down the names of those five people you hang around the most. Write down their main characteristics, both positive and negative. What's their average health and bank balance? What is their average relationship like? Is this list okay for you? Is this where you want to go?

- It's time to reappraise and reprioritize the people you spend time with. These relationships can nurture you, starve you, or keep you stuck. 

- Do not allow someone else's actions or attitudes to have a dampening influence on you.

- Identify people who have positive qualities in the areas of life where you want to improve - people with the financial and business success you desire, the parenting skills you want, the relationships you yearn for, the lifestyle you love. And then spend more time with them. Join organizations and businesses where these people gather and make friends. 

- The dream in your heart may be bigger than the environment in which you find yourself. Sometimes you have to get out of that environment to see that dream fulfilled. It's just not where you live. It's whatever surrounds you. Creating a positive environment to support your success means clearing out all the clutter in your life - physical, psychic, whatever's broken, whatever makes you cringe. Each and every incomplete thing in your life exerts a draining force on you, sucking the energy of accomplishment and success out of you as surely as a vampire stealing blood. Every incomplete promise, commitment, and agreement saps your strength because it blocks your momentum and inhibits your ability to move forward. Incomplete tasks keep calling you back to the past to take care of them. So think about what you can complete today.

- If you tolerate disrespect, you will be disrespected. If you tolerate people being late and making you wait, people will show up late for you. If you tolerate being underpaid and overworked, that will continue for you. If you tolerate your body being overweight, tired, and perpetually sick, it will be.

- You can do more than expected in every aspect of your life.

- Instead of sending Christmas cards, send Thanksgiving cards. Handwrite personal sentiments expressing how grateful you are for your relationship with that person and what he or she means to you. 

Source

- One core value in life is significance - to make a positive difference in other people's lives.

- Ideas uninvested are wasted.

- The ripple effect of helping others and giving generously of your time and energy is that you become the biggest beneficiary of your personal philanthropy. 

Action Steps

- Write out a few excuses you might be clinging to (e.g., not smart enough, no experience, don't have the education). Decide to make up in hard work and personal development to outcompete anyone - including your old self.

- Write out the half-dozen small, seemingly inconsequential steps you can take every day that can take your life in a completely new and positive direction.

- Write down the small, seemingly inconsequential actions you can stop doing that might be compounding your results downward.

- List a few areas, skills, or outcomes where you have been most successful in the past. 

- What area, person, or circumstance in your life do you struggle with the most? Start journaling all the aspects of that situation that you are grateful for. Keep a record of everything that reinforces and expands your gratitude in that area.

- Where in your life are you not taking 100% responsibility for the success or failure of your present condition? Write down 3 things you have done in the past that have messed things up. List 3 things you should have done but didn't. Write 3 things that happened to you but you responded poorly. Write 3 things you can start doing right now to take back responsibility for the outcomes of your life.

- Start tracking at least one behavior in one area of your life you'd like to change and improve (e.g., money, nutrition, fitness, recognizing others, parenting...any area).

- Write out your top three goals. Now make a list of the bad habits that might be sabotaging your progress in each area. Write down every one. 

- Add to that list all the habits you need to adopt that, practiced and compounded over time, will result in you achieving your goals.

- Identify your core motivation.

- Find your why power. Design your concise, compelling, and awe-inspiring goals.

- Build your bookend morning and evening routines. Design a predictable and fail-safe routine schedule for your life.

- List 3 areas of life in which you are not consistent enough. What has this inconsistency cost you in life thus far? Make a declaration to stay steadfast in your new commitment to consistency.

- Identify the influence the input of media and information is having on your life. Keep your mind regularly filled with positive, uplifting, and supportive input.

- Evaluate your current associations. Who might you need to further limit your association? Who might you need to completely dissociate from? Strategize ways you will expand your associations.

- Identify the three areas of your life you are most focused on improving. Find and engage a mentor in each of those areas. Your mentors could be people with whom you have brief conversations or they could be authors (books or on CD).

- Find 3 areas in your life where you can do "extra" (e.g., weight lifting reps, recognition, sentiments of appreciation).

- Identify 3 areas in your life where you can beat the expectations. Where and how can you create "wow" moments?

- Identify 3 ways you can do the unexpected. Where can you differentiate from what is common, normal, or expected?

Things to Read

SUCCESS