For the 11th week of the Read 52 Books in 52 Weeks challenge, I chose a book that tied into the Spiritual Practices A to Z Countdown that I'm doing: Radical Forgiveness by Colin Tipping.
As I started reading the book, it seemed very familiar. I continued reading and then realized that I had, indeed, read it before when I was doing the Wellspring program a couple years ago.
I went back on my notes, and found that I already typed quite a few passages that I wanted to remember. So, I re-read them and chose ones that seemed still relevant to my life today. These are things I want to continue to remember:
- If you want to know what your beliefs are, look at what you have in your life. Life always reflects our beliefs.
- He provided you with an opportunity to get in touch with your original pain and to see how a certain belief about yourself was running your life. In so doing, he gave you the opportunity to understand and change your belief, thus healing your original pain.
- 90% of the healing occurs when you become willing to let in the idea that your soul has lovingly created this situation for you.
- Even though you repressed the pain to get rid of it, the belief kept working in your life at a subconscious level. That’s when your soul decided to create some drama in your life so you would bring it to consciousness again and have the opportunity to choose healing once more.
You attracted people into your life who would confront you directly with your own pain and you relive the original experience through them.
- What would happen if, instead of understanding what was going on underneath the situation, you simply avoid it? Your soul would have brought in someone else to help you heal.
- Through the law of resonance, we attract the people who resonate with our issues so that we can heal them. For example, if abandonment is our issue, we will tend to attract people who abandon us. In that sense, these people serve as our teachers.
- What appears to be cruel and nasty behavior on somebody’s part might be exactly what we need and have indeed called forth. Situations that appear to be the worst that could possibly befall us may hold the key to our healing something deep within us that keeps us from being happy and prevents our growth. The people who seem to us to be the most troublesome and the least likable may therefore be our greatest teachers. What we think they do to us, they actually do for us.
- The idea that nothing wrong took place and that is in fact there was nothing to forgive. This is Radical Forgiveness.
- Anger actually exists as a secondary emotion. Beneath anger lies a primary emotional pain, such as hurt pride, shame, frustration, sadness, terror, or fear.
- Anger that persists serves no useful purpose.
- You know when you have reached a placed of forgiveness by how you feel. When you can feel neutral when meeting the person again, speaking to them, or even thinking about them, you are probably 90% there. You are 100% there when you can feel nothing about love for that person.
- Burning scented woods, sage, sweetgrass, and incense will intensify any ritual and bring special significance to a forgiveness ceremony. The smoke from sage and sweetgrass also cleanses your aura, thus removing unwanted energies from your energy field.
- Ritualized washing, immersing, and floating are good rituals as well.
One of the suggestions for healing one's life is the following: Write three letters to the person who you feel has wronged or hurt you in some way.
- Vent all your anger in the first letter.
- The next day write another letter. There should be less anger in this one. Bring compassion, understanding, and generosity, as well as the possibility of some sort of forgiveness, into the equation.
- The next day, write a third letter. Attempt to describe a new interpretation of the situation based on the principles of Radical Forgiveness.
- ****NONE of these letters are ever mailed. They are designed to shift your energy, not the energy of the recipient. Use the ritual of fire to transform them. Something powerful happens when you see your words turn into ashes and rise up in a column of smoke. Say a prayer as the item burns.